Archives

Mixed feelings

Jun26

Despite happiness earlier, it kind of went a little messy as the day went on to the point where now I feel more sad than anything.

Ignoring a whole issue with timing (Laying down taking longer and then not long after, being dragged off to go out to dinner), apparently when I signed off (due to not having slept in over 24 hours and still feeling ill from the previous day), it disconnected me. So, I was waited for…despite me saying I was going to go for a bit as I wasn’t feeling well and figured laying down a little could help–plus, more tanks would be on later and I would be back later.

I had been with someone who I made friends with and a new guildmate of ours at the time after various incidents.

Afterall, it started with one of our guildmates asking me about Lost Island HM knowing I was planning to do it after I got Taunling as much as I could. I was excited and said yes. We found two people to do it (after like 2 hours) with–a tank who hadn’t done it before and one of their guild mates for the other DPS. Obviously, if it’s your first try in Lost Island, there will be quite a few deaths. It’s not surprising at all and it can be a huge pain. However, we were all understandable. It was slow, but we continued through. When we got to the Robot, one of our DPS had to go after a few tries. Not long after, my guildmate disconnected. We waited…and waited…and after about 40 minutes, we realized we couldn’t keep waiting as our Tank was only able to play in early hours and he wouldn’t be able to stay too much longer. We ended up asking another one of my guildmates (and it was his first time in the FP as well) to come and they were happy to and after waiting a little longer, had to kick the other guildmate. After recruiting another DPS, it didn’t go too well (After all, the Robot Boss is harder with melee and 2 of the people in the FP were new to this), however, they couldn’t stay long either. Thankfully, a friend of mine was on who was willing to come.

So, after several tries, we get the Robot down, I learned we could skip the Rhino boss and we got to the lava-smashy-light on fire boss. Unfortunately, our guild member seemed to have some trouble figuring out exactly where to stand so he was pushed off a few times. Besides that, some people sticking too close together caused a bit too much damage. Eventually, our tank had to go and so I said it may be better to try and do it later (unfortunately, Lost Island did reset which sucks–I wish I knew what caused it to or how long it takes to reset a flashpoint) as we might be able to ask some of our guilds’ tanks to come and more people will be on so I could get some rest and we could take a small break. And this leads us to what I said to start. Because it disconnected me, apparently they waited and so I got back to an angry message in my inbox with just made me feel like utter crud for something out of my control and despite the fact that I was saying I’d be gone for a bit. I did respond explaining, but considering they signed on and no reply, I guess they didn’t care 🙁

I also, once again, tried to see if anyone was selling Advanced Resolve Armoring 25 (as I need this at least to wear my new belt) or Advanced Resolve Armoring 26 (as I will need at least 6 of these to get my gear up–I already have one in my top). I got a response from someone letting me know they were making some of the Armoring 26 and that they’d be putting them up on the market tomorrow. Ignoring my personal feelings on the fact that I find those prices ridiculous (even if that’s apparently the going price), I responded truthfully that I never had 3 million in my entire time playing the game. I received a response back that pretty much said “that sucks” and they signed off before I could say anything else.

For the record, the most I ever had in this game is a little over 2 million and only once. I’m usually lucky if I have over 500K or over 1 million, but anything more is practically a miracle. …and apparently, that’s quite pitiful ._.

In a happier note, while I managed to get nothing else done, I did at least get those final 10 daily commendations and bought my Campaign Relic of Ephemeral Mending.

And in a confusing note, apparently there is an Imperial Character (who is also a healer) on Canderous Ordo named Marilea in a guild called DeathStarz. So much for my name being unique. So, I guess I should mention that I only play on Corellian Run. I do not have any characters on any other servers (with the exception of Marilea and Roseria also being on the Test Server) so…yeah. If I do make characters on a different server, I will be sure to add them to the Character Page. …and if you are that person who also picked the name Marilea, I guess I’m curious how you came up with it? Or something? I don’t know. I can’t even think of words to explain my feelings about this ATM. @-@ And since my boyfriend had to point it out, thank god we were a destination server. I have to wonder what would happen if they tried to transfer to the test server though. :/

For now, I’ll just get my computer and laptop to start patching and head to bed so I can play 1.3 ASAP (hopefully I will wake up early).

In which Math stresses me more

Jun24

So, I haven’t done too much today. I checked Gargath twice–down both times :/ Just…not in the mood ATM. We did Lost Island…no pet drop. I got the mod I need so I just need the Advanced Resolve Armoring 25.

Anyway, since my boyfriend is in charge of getting me Power Crystals and things, I decided to figure out just how much stuff I need to make all the Augment Kits. It takes 10 of an item to get the 10 Augment Kit parts I need for each Augment Kit I need and I need to do them at level 47 at the lowest I can for the Level 6 Augment Kit parts.

I need about 20 Augment Kits (14 of them being priority–the other 6 = for PVP). That is, at 30K per Augment Kit attaching, 600K. (420K for 14)

Of course, pricing doesn’t stop there. The following is what is needed to make those 200 items I will have to make for those kits.

Each item I can make will take:
2 Zeyd-cloth (which cost 250 each)
4 Alien Artifact Fragments (Grade 5 Artifact Fragment)
6 Damind Crystal (Grade 5 Power Crystal)

So, for 200, that’s 400 Zeyd-cloth, 800 Alien Artifact Fragments, and 1,200 Damind Crystal. To get those 400 Zeyd-clothing, that is 100K. And my boyfriend has the painful experience to try to get that many of the other 2 things (of course, I could try to buy them…but we’re already at 700K and I don’t even have 600K). Of course, if we just do 14, that’s only 140 items which lessens it to 560 Alien Artifact Fragments, 840 Damind Crystal, and 280 Zeyd-cloth (which would cost 70K…so the cost would be 510K total just for priority).

Then, of course, there’s the price for actually constructing the Augment Kits as the 30K is just for attaching them.
10 x Augmentation Slot Component MK-6
2 x Subelectronic Data Module
2 x Primeval Artifact Fragment (Level 6 Artifact Fragment)
2 x Upari Crystal (Level 6 Power Crystal)
2 x Cortosis Substrate
^What you need (unless changed…but let’s hope not. Rather not re-do it all)

So, that’s a total of:
140-200 Augmentation Slot Component MK-6
280-400 Subelectronic Data Modules
280-400 Primeval Artifact Fragment
280-400 Upari Crystal
280-400 Cortosis Substrate (which costs 400 each so that’s a total of 112,000-160,000)

…yeah. I’ll have to work on more Slicing missions to get the Subelectronic Data Modules, though, I at least have enough for the priority amount (I have 300 total right now). …but I’m nowhere close on anything else.

So, in total, that’s 622K-860K for 14-20 Augment Kits. And that doesn’t even put into effect the cost for Artifact Fragments and Power Crystals.

…which I guess points out how I can’t even do that right .___. This also means my 2.5 million goal may be a bit too small and I may actually have to go for 3 million or so 🙁

Rants and Raves, I suppose

Jun24

So, I have a bit to talk about… I guess I’ll start with heading to the Tatooine event. I’m not really much of a PVPer, nor do I care to, so instead, I found somewhere to hide and spectated. Surprisingly, most people didn’t even notice me–I think I was only noticed once and the person kind of just looked at me and then left. Despite just spectating inside somewhere, there was still quite a bit to see. Do kind of wish I could have seen stuff outside as well, however.

No idea why my name was blue and whatnot–same thing happens when I queue for warzones. I’ve reported it and people can still hit me (if they try to) so it’s not like I’m immune–just a weird glitch.

After about an hour, I headed to the fleet for the raid. We finished Karagga Normal and then started HM…unfortunately, lots of issues with Bonethrasher. A few people just…weren’t listening. I also lagged once though and got smacked into the green stuff so bleh. :/ After him though, we did pretty well and got to the enemies before Fabricator. We stopped there as some people needed to sleep soon.

So, I went to check on Gargath and he wasn’t up, so I kind of just signed off shortly after and I don’t think anyone would have helped me with him anyway even if he was up. Not because they’re being rude, but because all week it’s just been so much Gargath that they’re sick of him. Just like KP. I can’t blame them–even I’m kind of sick of them (Though, I do find Fabricator and Karagga fun, but I hate everything before it at this point), but like when I grinded up PVP to 65, I’m determined.

I’m a shy person, I hate asking for help (Part of why I am so upset I can’t do these things alone) as it makes me feel bad, and I also hate giving up. On the flipside, if I get excited about something, I can be quite loud. I can also be abrasive, pushy, stubborn, and can some on a bit strong with my goals.

The thing is, and even when I’m saying what I still need, I’m not trying to ask for favors. I’m not trying to guilt people to help. I am honestly just stating them (thus why I made this to write in). As an example, 90% of my friends can draw really well. I can’t stand how I draw so I often complain about it. And then at least 80% of them ask if I want something drawn and it’s not even what I was trying to imply. I state a lot of things for myself and sometimes, maybe, I just want someone to listen for once.

I guess the best way to explain how I think of things is an old phrase: “It’s more fun planning the party than the actual party is.”

This doesn’t work for me. My favorite part is after the party when we clean up and prepare for whenever another party may happen so as soon as it does happen, everything is ready to go. So, in short, I like to have my lists done. Completely empty. Then work on saving credits and materials and etc. for the next patch so as soon as it comes up, I’m good to go. I have gear, I have credits, I have all the current pets, and I am completely ready to dedicate to this new update. In fact, My OCPD is why I have these blogs because despite the fact I have a very good memory, it helps relieve some stress for me to write it all down.

The thing is, if I still have stuff to do, I can’t do that. I can’t just focus on what is in the update because I still have things to catch up on. Thus, I stress and I practically have an anxiety attack. And the thing that people don’t seem to understand is for every second that I am feeling like I am behind, the more stressed I feel and the more I push. I will not ask for help or freebies–in fact, if you offer, my answer will always be something like “If you want to” or “If you feel like” or “If you’d like to” and similar. I will not ask because I will feel bad and guilty if I do even if you obviously have no issue doing so. If I do receive a sudden mail, expect a bazillion OMGTHANKYOU as I will feel forever in your debt.

I am someone who would put aside everything to finish things. I have everything at that high priority and put my passion into every single thing.

I’m not trying to be annoying. Or use anyone. Or bother people.

But I am trying to make sure I can maybe get myself some actual sleep. And maybe not want to curl into a ball and cry out of stress.

And if I could, I’d try and complete the goals all by myself.

but I can’t.

I can’t either 2.5 million (or 16 million) by Tuesday.

I can’t hit valor 100 by Tuesday. And I’m sure when I try to PVP to get the commendations I need for the other pet (as warzone commendations max at 2K and I need a total of 4K for both) once 1.3 hits, I’m also going to be reminded just how much I suck and what a burden I am to whatever team gets me.

I can’t do Lost Island HM by myself. I can’t do Karagga HM by msyelf. I can’t beat Gargath by myself.

I’m useless.

And I’m sorry if it seems I’m bugging or being a bit too abrasive. I don’t expect you to do things just for me. I don’t expect any of you to do things for me.

but I don’t know what to do anymore.

and honestly, the thing that makes me no longer want to play things most of all (even more than repeating) is feeling like I’ve gotten too far left behind.

and I don’t want that to happen to this game too.

The stress has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’ll log in again before 1.3 and if I do, maybe to just find a HM Karagga group that wouldn’t mind just doing Fabricator and Karagga.

but I just feel like I’m done. like there’s nothing else I can do. I feel empty and like a failure and just the biggest pile of useless crud out of all the level 50’s on the entire game.

1.3 this Tuesday (the 26th)

Jun22

So, I am having a heart attack. And of course, now I don’t even have enough money for the Augment Kits because I went and spent some on the top and bottom of the Consular’s Exalted outfit (and pulling mods out) for my PVP set. I still need the rest, but since the top and bottom are most noticeable, those were my focus.

On top of that, my belt still isn’t ready. I still need the armoring and mod so hopefully not everyone will need anything (As I don’t want to take Rakata gear away from someone who needs it just to take the mod out). Not to mention I really pray the Advanced Resolve Armoring 25 drops as I can’t get it otherwise :/ (Yes, you can pull it from mods, but Armoring is bound to the type of equip and I don’t believe you can remove from the belt even if it drops)

We will be trying 16 man tonight–KP HM and normal! I really hope it goes well. This will be my second time doing 16-man (first time was with Vanquished in Denova, though, we didn’t do much).

Anyway, I’m just…beyond stressed. I still have 4 pets to go! I mean, I don’t expect to get the Wondrous Egg with no confirmation yet, but Taunling, M0-GUL Thrall Droid, and Midnight Rakling? And I will only be able to get 2 tries for M0-GUL Thrall Droid before Tuesday 🙁 I’ve been camping Gargath like crazy–heck, we defeated him twice today with no luck, and we will be trying him again tonight after the raid. Lost Island I guess I’ll have to try to do inbetween those 4 hours, but I’m just SO STRESSED. I do not have anywhere close to the money I wanted to have (about 2-2.5 million to go into 1.3 with), still need ship legacy stuff (6 million), have barely done any PVP (at least I have the commendations I needed ready to go)… darn it. T___T I’m so not looking forward to this. And I really wanted to get my PVP outfit done 🙁 or at least all the parts (as I’d wait to remove the mods until after 1.3) but that’s still 300K :/

Though, as long as I can at least get about 300K-400K more (a total of 700K-800K) (however, I’d prefer to get to 2.5 million. Or maybe at least 1.5-2 million), I should be okay with Augment Kits and have some money for supplies/crafting and repairs (which I will also need to pay during this raid and thus, thus my credit amount will become even smaller and I am so stressed T__T) which will hopefully help…. for now, I better go back to slicing :/ I’m going to need those stupid rare things to make that last Augment I need. >< Even if I won't be able to get any of the new Legacy stuff really 🙁 also, if someone asks a question, people shouldn't assume the details and give a snappy/obnoxious response back. I don't know, maybe I just like answering questions, but it always bothers me when people respond so annoyed. :/ I mean, seriously. (and maybe now I feel pretty down/depressed so thanks for the mood killer)

Credits and things

Jun22

For those people who are for some reason reading this, the downtime was due to my domain hosting server whatever the terms really are doing a hardware upgrade to the server my site happens to be on. There’s…really not much else to say about it.

Anyway, I recently hit 1 million credits. It has been a long time since I’ve had that amount and I probably still wouldn’t if it wasn’t for the fact that I was told I could buy the Tionese Sentinel off-hand (Mercy) for all those ridiculous piles of Tionese Crystals and Tionese Commendations I happened to have. Each one sells for about 13K and I had a ridiculous amount of them so yeah 😛

I’m not really sure what to do with the money yet. I don’t want to just spend it (I feel saving would be better right now), but it’d be nice to get some stuff out of the way too. If I had to pick what I’d like to do, it’d probably be getting, at the very least, the Legacy Top and Bottom I want and putting the PVP mods in them so I can stop feeling like I look like a hobo. Of course, even just the top and bottom are 400K and removing mods would be about 200K more. Not to mention mods will be much cheaper to remove in 1.3 so it seems better to wait for now.

Besides that, anything else I’d really like to buy is much more expensive or not available until 1.3 (Like the almost 500K 600K (They increased the price to 30K per highest Augment kit) I’d need for Augment Kits…not to mention to do slicing missions). Only other thing I may be close to affording is the Twi’lek Race for my Smuggler. I would prefer to play the Smuggler over the Agent when I finish my Sorcerer–not because I prefer one over the other, but I think it’d be better for me to go back and forth than to continously play the same faction. As it is, after Marilea and Amidaia, any further characters will be a lot harder to play due to repetition aka why I can’t do dailies. *continues to try and slice for money*

I’ve calculated the total for everything I’d want (and some credits to feel “safe” money-wise) would be about 16 million total. That sucks. I mean, I know people who have that much (or several million at the least), but it’s still a lot. On the bright side, I can finally make purple augments of Advanced Might 22 and Advanced Resolve 22! Yay! Now if I could just get lucky with the Advanced Neural Augmentor items I need (4 per augment). I also still need to make 2 more for myself to have enough.

Moving on, it turns out I need to try and get my surge back up a bit. Unfortunately, it looks like I don’t have the enhancements I thought I did 🙁 I do have plenty of Columni Commendations, but I’d rather not remove mods right now because they are so pricey x-x Hopefully I won’t have to replace too many of my Crit and Alacrity ones though. Should just try and get to like 72% or so Surge-wise however. Speaking of Enhancements, I still need a Advanced Resolve Mod 25. Have not seen one drop recently (of course), but did find one on the GTN for 750K. Obviously, I didn’t buy it as that was ridiculous. However, when I looked later, it was gone :/ I don’t know if someone bought it or if they removed it, but bleh. I also still need an Advanced Mettle Mod 25A, but that can only be gotten from removing from Rakata Gear and I have not been very lucky to get some at the moment (not that I’d want to take away from someone who needs it of course!).

But yes, overall, I’m stressing, need to save up credits and essentially want to do the following:
1. Stalk and defeat Gargath repeatedly until I have Taunling.
2. Do Lost Island repeatedly until Midnight Rakling drops (Possibly just resetting after robot guy as it seems to drop off Robot or the final boss the most…even if I hate the Robot)
3. Do Karagga twice a week as I can’t do it more than that 🙁
4. While waiting for above, PVP constantly to hit Valor 100.

Yes, that last one is rather strange, isn’t it? Well, since the PVP pets are valor level 70, I can’t help but feel paranoid and just want to hit 100 ASAP.

…however, I’d really like to manage to get out of the hobo robes before I do so.

In a different note, and to end this off, I think this sounds awesome and I’d like the guild I am in to participate, but I’m not really sure how to bring it up. While I don’t care much for Open World PVP (which seems to be the first event), I think the idea of Server Events could be a lot of fun and I hope maybe it’ll be looked into.

…and despite all the people, finding a group for Gargath is really hard. Even bribing gets no responses ._.

Making Plans

Jun20

So, I will admit, I really like this outfit–almost as much as the Elegant Outfit. I’ve been wanting to use it in some way for a long time, but haven’t been able to think of one. It finally hit me though–I wanted to change into something else for my PVP Gear. I had been thinking of doing another Elegant Outfit, but realized how confusing that could be and I really do not care much for the look of the PVP clothing, so why not use the Consular’s Exalted? (Which means I’ll probably put Roseria in the Force Evangelist outfit like I originally planned)

…of course, it’s incredibly expensive. While I do not plan to get all of it, the parts I do want are as follows:
Consular’s Exalted Headgear – 250,000 (though, honestly, I really don’t care what headgear I get as it’s hidden so I may either just keep the PVP Headgear or get another circlet, though different then the one I am using for my main outfit)
Consular’s Exalted Robe – 250,000
Consular’s Exalted Gloves – 150,000
Consular’s Exalted Lower Robes – 200,000
Consular’s Exalted Boots – 150,000
So… 750K to a million (probably 750K–will most likely just get another circlet)

Not to mention I’d probably want to get Augments so that’s… 5 more Augment Kits (125K) and 5 more Advanced Resolve Augment 22.

…and cost of removing mods and enhancements and stuff… *cries*

Battle of Ilum, The Foundry, Population, Valor Worries + more

Jun19

So, quite a bit to talk about :3 Shall go in order~

Battle of Ilum:
Finally got to do Battle of Ilum HM! My boyfriend and I went with two of our guildmates 🙂 And we even did the bonus boss! It went really well and I had fun. We’re hopefully going to do False Emperor tomorrow and then I’ll have my Aratech Ice <3 What was really fun is we got to go through the Secret Tunnel 🙂 It is an old thing left during development/Beta when they wanted to put some Datacrons in Flash Points. It has a bunch of the crates you can break to get further along with the Bonus Boss and a Security Chest! It's in the giant crystal cave area :3 Just look for a tiny cove on the map with a few enemies and then look carefully for a tiny opening that turns into a path and it is so cool. The Foundry: Found some time to pop on Amidaia today and took care of the Foundry for the first time. We finally hit a flashpoint we couldn't do with just two companions, but luckily were able to find someone who was going to do it with us 🙂 I have taken Amidaia back to Quesh so hopefully maybe we can get some leveling in. Population: SO MANY PEOPLE. We had 300-400+ people on the Republic Fleet during Prime time and about 500 on the Imperial Fleet! PVPers were in their glory and everyone seemed to be getting along, though, I did see some rude people. I'm hoping to maybe see people looking for groups for Gargath as I'm pretty shy :/ I have seen lots of KP groups though so if our guild doesn't have time to during the week, at least I should be able to go to one! I just hope to see people asking for Gargath. However, due to experiences, I think I'm really too shy to join someone's Looking for group for Lost Island. It just is...a flash point that makes me really nervous and I know a lot of people really have no respect for mistakes and I'd rather not cry for feeling like a failure. Especially as I hate giving up. Wish I could find someone to do Lost Island normal already though. But yes, was nice seeing so many people--even if we were full at one point and had to wait like 20 minutes to get in 😛 Valor Worries: Guild said that due to other games, there was a chance with Ranked Warzones that Valor would be removed eventually. At the moment, I am valor level 73. I still have 27 levels to go to max out valor for all the titles. That's... a lot, especially at this high and the idea is just stressing me out completely. Moving on to other subjects: Our Guild has a new GM as the old one feels they will be too busy. I do know the new GM better than the old one so it's not too much of a change--most people are also in that boat. I actually got promoted to Officer though which was a nice surprise! Right now, they're trying to figure out recruiting along with what to do with Raid Groups. They are thinking of making our Raid Group the first one (we are #2) at the moment and vice versa--I kind of hope they do that as I really like the group I raid with. Besides that, I re-maxed Slicing 🙂 And am continuing to try and use that to earn some money. Hopefully I'll have a good amount of credits soon. Edit: And speaking of awesome guildmates, I received a special gift when I got up this morning: 10

Making myself poor as I continue to stress myself out

Jun18

So, due to a conversation with another guildmate of mine, I have been thinking a lot about gear. There are no orange ear pieces or implants, but there are orange belts and bracers. And when it comes down to it, I’d like to add augment kits to items I will permanently have–especially as the last thing I am is made of money.

Thus, I began my search for an orange belt and bracers before realizing that the new Legacy vendors sold some. Which I then bought before I remembered how overpriced the prices were.

From there, many wrong mods and things were pulled out by accident.

And with that, any little bit of money I still had left was gone. 🙁 I suck at this so badly. I think I’ll go sulk in a corner now. I really wish I kept a few extra Advanced Resolve Armoring 25 and Advanced Mettle Mod 25A at the moment 🙁

Feeling unlucky, Leveling, HK, + Roseria

Jun17

So, my guild being awesome went and finished Karagga’s Palace normal. Unfortunately, still no pet drop. :/ Which sucks. While I know the pets aren’t common, it seems ridiculous how much we’ve run them… this, Lost Island, and killing Gargath and just nothing. It’s just super depressing. And when you see someone come out of their first run with their brand new pet… it hurts .__.

Anyway, I am hoping to get back to leveling Amidaia soon. Especially as apparently HK-51 may need multiple characters (I feel bad for people who really don’t level other characters much like me. It seems I got lucky for this at least) considering hints to having a level 50 character on one faction and at least mid level on another. I don’t know if I’ll want to get HK on anyone besides Marilea, but if I do, probably just Amidaia. I mean, maybe the rest eventually, but not priority at all other than my main on each faction.

For now, I re-made Roseria, my test character, on Corellian Run. I will be making her DPS, but I honestly can’t decide if I should make her a sage or a shadow. I am leaning towards Sage as while Shadows can, well, sneak, I really prefer ranged combat and Shadows are a bit more up close and person. I’ll probably dress her either in Consulars Exalted or Force Evangelist and with a green color crystal.

Wardrobe Thoughts

May20

I’ve been thinking very hard about what I’d want each of my characters to wear. While Marilea is all set in her Elegant Dress set and her Elder Seeker’s Headgear (though, I may want to find a hat that is more circlet-y/tiara-ish) along with her Righteous Harbinger’s Lightsaber, I’m still having an awful time finding Amidaia a nice shirt. She is pretty much fine with everything else though (however, I should probably try and learn to make the skirt so I can get an augment slot for it…at least those kits will be out in 1.3).

I have been checking on the awesomely helpful TOR Fashion site to try and get an idea for what I’d want to do for Miisha, my future smuggler, but it doesn’t seem there is too much up yet for Medium Armor. I did, however, find what I will probably want my future Trooper, who I finally have decided to name Zoara, to wear. I haven’t seen exactly what I want for my Imperial Agent (Cellina) or Bounty Hunter (Aurorra) yet, but I shall have to just keep checking back.