Goals and Failure
Sometimes there are days where everything goes wrong…but on top of that, there are times where those days happen and there’s nothing you can really point a finger on as to say why. Whether it be being teased until your heart breaks or repeatedly wiping on something you should know or essentially being told something important to you doesn’t matter.
There are times things happen. Things that despite the fact you knew how they’d go (due to sucking in comparison) still hurt as you see dreams shatter around you. But is there anyone to blame on something expectant? No, not really. Because in the end, it’s just my fault.
Despite my continued issues with my own self, I’m not really upset or mad at anyone. I’m not sure why EC went so wrong or when I will get a Deep Wriggler but I hope we’ll be able to kick EC’s butt and Terror from Beyond’s butt and maybe I’ll get a Deep Wriggler soon and his name will be Wriggles. And yes, I know I could technically blame Bioware for making pets drop in operations in the first place or the fact that a fix may have made a fight worse but…that doesn’t make me feel better and issues do happen. And I am sure it will be fixed eventually.
…I really do wish pets would stop being put in operations though….
and maybe I can work on improving to the point where I wouldn’t be such a horrible person and can actually get my goals done right away. A lot of people say I stress a lot and I’ll be honest, it is true. When I make a goal, I want it completed essentially 5 minutes before I made the goal in the first place. I’m not really an impatient person, but I’m a paranoid person. The Wonderous Egg is probably a perfect example of why I could become more paranoid surrounding pets.
Right now, it seems the Deep Wriggler is a 100% drop. But what if that is an issue? What if it was supposed to be a 0.01% drop? Or a 1% drop or some other tiny cruel amount to taunt me for ages. Or what if another Wonderous Egg situation appears and really, who the heck knows what is going on with that. Glitches happen, codexes glitch, items glitch, I can’t really blame things for not being perfect and/or fixed. Things happen. I know I’m not perfect
even if I desperately wish to be. Despite that, I will be on, I will be doing my usual research, and I will be rooting the heck out of them to get this over with because all this server first competition is silly. Yes, I said it, it is silly. World first is silly. It is all silly. To me, anyway. But–for those who care, I wish you the best of luck at completing your goals too.
“wait, didn’t you want the server first pet?” you may ask (okay, nobody is asking this but shush!)
Yes and no. It’s not actually about server first to me, but rather getting the goal done as quickly as possible. Sure, it’d be cool to actually have a server first, but it’s not actually my goal. I’m a supportive person, but I’m also competitive and can even be jealous sometimes. This is partially (or maybe even completely) due to the fact that I am a perfectionist. I need to have it done. The sooner, the better. And every single time I continue to see someone with something I still need, my heart breaks. If I am not doing the best, I just feel like a complete and utter failure who doesn’t deserve to play or be brought along anywhere. It’s a big flaw of mine. It’s also something that sometimes can come off as fishing for compliments–so I will say right here, it isn’t what I try to do. I won’t believe the person anyway and essentially, it is what it is. I’ve come to terms on it. And while there’s certain people who still worry ridiculously about me *waves to boyfriend*, it’s not something I necessarily can control.
On the bright side, this means I strive hard to succeed. But only to a certain point–when it gets to a point where I feel there’s nothing I can do, that all my goals are impossible, it’s not going to happen….I crash. Hard. Cheer and determination gets slapped with a giant pile of demotivation and then it is just a struggle to play until the point where I just won’t want to. So it’s one of those things that really throws people off because, afterall, “Wouldn’t you want to have a lot of goals to keep you playing?” Most people would, but that isn’t how I work. I want my goals done so I can work on just saving up for future ones and for every second my goals are incomplete or something gets added, my stress level goes up and I feel slightly more saddened over how behind I am.
“But why would you get on if you already finished all your goals?” I’m going to pretend you asked even though you didn’t and probably won’t read this because seriously, what do you care about any of this and why am I wasting your time…
Because, despite the fact that I can be a bit selfish sometimes and if someone rolls over me on a pet I need I will be glaring at you forever, I really do like to help people. I tend to bother people a lot. Whether it be to ask them to help me with something or credit help or asking a question or just bugging them to see how I can improve, I tend to put a lot of weight on people’s shoulders. I wouldn’t say I’m a completely dependent person, but I put a lot of trust in friends. A lot. Which is probably why I get hurt so much, especially if I consider someone a friend who may not feel the same way about me. So when it comes down to it, the least I can do is help someone back out. If I had all the credits in the world, sure, I’d probably get most of my goals done first (see stressing the longer each goal is incomplete), but after that, if a friend needed something, I’d probably just surprise them with it.
…and then I’d be poor again when my next set of goals come around but at least I made people happy! I don’t mind sitting on the sandcrawler for hours on end or explaining how to get every codex and pet in the game or even taking you along! You need a datacron guide? I’m at your call. Because in the end, I just want to know I was able to do something to say “thank you for putting up with me”. And regardless of whether I know you or not, I will always just want to help. Unless I hate you. And even then I may still help you because I feel bad easily.
Moving on to actual goals… Gear will take a while. As it is, I still do not know how many I will need for certain things for sure. However, apparently some people have already started reverse engineering things and someone was actually selling Advanced Adept Enhancement 27 on the fleet. If you bought 3, they were just 2 million each T__T I need at least 3, possibly 4…shall know for sure once Mr. Robot updates. Of course, I can’t afford that and even if I could…well, let’s be honest, I’d have to have my ship legacy stuff and all the speeders (6 million + about 3.3 million) before I’d spend the 6-8 million on the enhancement. …I probably should have still gotten their name though.
There are 4 reasons for that:
1. Gear is on a lower priority for me to begin with
2. I could get the gear a different way anyhow eventually (although…repetition. 😐 At least I’d be able to help people however!)
3. There is no other to get the speeders and Ship Legacy stuff.
4. When it comes down to it, those have been on my goal list a lot longer than some mods that only became available less than a week ago.
As it is, I still have PVP Goals where I have made absolutely no progress, but more things have been added on. I technically have enough for the gloves and boots of the Consular’s Exalted set, but that would only leave me with about 250K and I don’t think that’d be good…
This, of course, will probably stem “why do you lump goal amounts altogether again? Why not just try and separate things? It’d be easier to get then”. This is most likely because I am a very all or nothing person. In a similar way to how I hate giving up, I don’t getting just half-way there. It’s also harder to keep track. And my goals are long enough without me spelling everything out.
Essentially, my top goals are still getting the 5 million for the Ship GTN, the 1 million for both Ship Dummies, and the money I need for all the speeders. There are only 2 speeders I can get that I can not buy:
–The HM Kephess mount. I…hope we can complete it soon 🙁
–The Ranked Warzone Mount (but…I don’t think anyone wants to bring me on ranked ._. Even if my expertise is slightly over 1,100 with all my gear now. I’m not really sure what to aim for here though 🙁 )
I still never managed to get Campaign Gloves, but considering the Dread Guard stuff, it isn’t really a big priority
and it’s not like I ever use my 4-set piece bonus.
so, when it comes to goal priorities:
PRIORITY NUMBER 1:
pets pets pets pets pets All current ones gotten
6 Million 5 million for Ship Legacy stuff
3. ~3.2 Million for Speeders (+HM EC Speeder +Ranked Speeder)
Getting all the new Terror from Beyond Codexes I need
5. Czerka Crate-O-Matic
Consular’s Exalted Boots and Gloves
Total cost: ~3.5 million + lots of pain + 36 Corellia Commendations per horrible box try 🙁
1. PVE Gear
2. Hitting Legacy Level 50
3. Hitting Valor Rank 100
4. EMP Generator
5. Electronic Warfare Pod
Total cost: ~varies based on mod sellers and repairs. Also need 240 Fleet Commendations 🙁 Most of these will just be time consuming though.
1. Getting Amidaia all finished up (need to finish Corellia and Ilum and flashpoints :|)
2. Get Speederisk done so I can delete him already and get Speederisk2 started and done.
3. Get the following character perks for each alt: Legacy of Altruism, Legacy of Persuasion, Speeder Level 1, All Story Experience, All Exploration Experience (For a total of 645K). If flashpoints needed, add them for a new total of 920K
——-Cellina already has Speeder Level 1, 3/5 of Class Mission and 4/5 of Exploration lowering her total to 405K-680K.
——-Miisha already has Speeder level 1, 3/5 of Class Mission, 3/5 of Exploration, and 2/5 of Flashpoint lowering her total to 445K-495K
——-Speederisk already has Speeder level 1 lowering his total to 605K-880K.
——-Roseria already has Speeder level 1 lowering her total to 605K-880K.
4. Finishing all character’s stories and getting them all to 50. (Finishing planets + Flashpoints is an Amidaia only requirement)
5. PVP Gear
6. Legacy of Crafting (350K) for Marilea (if others get crafting up, possibly eventually for them as well or at least Amidaia (Cybertech))
Total Cost: 3,700,000-5,125,000 Credits (not counting removal of mods for PVP or Legacy of Crafting for anyone other than Marilea), Lots of Warzone Commendations + Pain
QUATERNARY GOALS: If Makeb/level increase is coming out, those that are *’d will become Priority or Secondary Level.
Legacy of Sacrifice – 250K
Legacy Fleet Pass – 600K
Legacy Quick Travel – 600K *
Improved Rocket Boost – 2.5 million
Warzone Experience – 275K * if Valor 100 hasn’t been hit yet by the time level increasement happens
Flashpoint Experience – 275K * if new Flashpoints are released with level increasement.
Space Mission Experience – 150K * when new Space missions come out.
Story Experience – 275K * (If Makeb really does start Chapter 4)
Exploration Experience – 150K *
Outlaw’s Den (50K), Vanguard Fleet (50K), and Black Hole Travel Passes (150K) – 250K
Total: 5,175,000 Credits
All Race Unlocks (6 million. 7.5 million if I get impatient with Aurorra even though she is a Cyborg and will be level 50 eventually…)
Legacy of Altruism – 90K
Legacy of Persuasion – 90K
Speeder Training – 465K
Field Respecialization – 200K
Legacy of Leadership – 60K
Fully Gearing Companions (In order: Nadia, Qyzen, Tharan, Zenith, Iresso)
Total: 6,525,000 – 8,225,000 Credits
and you see why I stress. For now, I shall just go back to thinking of the Pet thing I want to do to get my mind off it all ignoring that I have no idea where to even get started on something like that…
ZOARA HAS BEEN MADE!
Customer Support <3
So, I received answers to my full codex ticket today 🙂 And now pretty much all my glitched codexes have been fixed. They only ones that could not be fixed are the PVP ones as apparently they just can’t fix achievement-based ones but they’d look into the issue and The History of Tatooine which due to how it’s gotten apparently couldn’t be confirmed if I did it or not. It’s understandable though.
But yeah, he let me know if it was Imperial only or a different class only and everything got worked out.
Waiting to hear back on the Zabrak issue and staying hopeful as despite no downtime tonight, the vendor will still be leaving at 3AM EST. Shall edit this if I have any updates.
Edit: So, this has turned out to be quite a more serious predicament than expected! Right now, I have to stay logged out for 10 minutes while they do some serious testing.
I explain the issue to them and they tell me it is working as it is supposed to. I’m confused as I swear I’ve seen Imperial colored Jedi. I wonder if maybe I’m just crazy, but I’m just pretty sure. So, we continue talking and they tested it twice buying the perk and didn’t get the option so they believe this is just how it is and they said they can give me the 1.5 million back.
So, I ask in General Chat if anyone has unlocked the Zabrak race and made an Imperial colored Republic character. A nice person named Rishy tells me they have and I excitedly confirm with them and they tell me where to meet them so they can switch. So, they log into Derpina who is a red Zabrak Jedi Sage. I show Customer Support and now they are trying to figure this out. It seems, for whatever reason, you only get all the options if you unlock it through a level 50 character over buying it which isn’t how it is supposed to work. They leveled a Sentinel so as expected, it doesn’t have to be a specific faction to unlock. It’s just supposed to unlock both sides regardless.
Hopefully they can just flip some kind of switch in my account for me and then just work on the bug as I’d really love to make my Trooper tonight. Anyway, just 2 minutes to go until I can log back in! Going to try and stay hopeful 🙂 At the very least, this proves I’m not crazy!
Datacrons + Disappointment
If you don’t mind not leveling super fast, it doesn’t hurt to go a bit out of your way to get datacrons. The reason I say this is because something I noticed when going back to help people with datacrons…it feels like it takes forever.
If you keep an eye out for where datacrons should be while heading there, it is actually a bit shorter since a turn out of your way and then back to your quests isn’t so crazy as going all over and deeper and then the long ride to a whole other section of a planet (or off it) when you finished it a long time ago.
Regardless, I still like helping, but I’m glad we did it the way we did on our main characters. Going back for some on Amidaia will suck 😛
Now, moving on to the latter part of my subject…I know a lot of people knew I was working very hard to save up for the Zabrak race so I could make Zoara, right?
I hit the 1.5 million so I asked my boyfriend to lend me 150K so I wouldn’t be completely poor. He did as he was excited too. I buy the race, I delete place-holder Zoara, I go to make permanent Zoara and there’s a problem. I noticed that when you had something special unlocked with Twi’lek, there were little yellow lines (along with the text being a glowy yellow with a little shield icon) where the unlocked stuff were–these were not there for Zabrak. I shrugged it off and went through the skins but nothing. No pink skin at all.
So, I hop on the Imperial side and check classes that normally do not have Zabrak as an option (Like Imperial Agent). They have just the Republic options. When I check a class that normally does (for example, Sith Warrior), they just have the Imperial options. It’s…very odd. I had no issues with unlocking Twi’lek, but Zabrak seems to be a mess. I went and sent a bug report in 🙁
I just hope they can fix it ASAP or like activate something in the background for it rather than having to wait for a patch…because next patch, the Vendor is being removed and I’ll feel…really bad. Just need to hope there’s some support around to answer my ticket today 🙁 Shall be online most of the day praying for it, really~
To-do List for 1.4?
While whether 1.4 is a full thing or not, it has been more or less confirmed by various interviews that Terror From Beyond will be out in September. Which means if they do put it on the Public Test Server (I’d think so, but who knows), it’ll probably be sometime soon.
Considering I have yet to actually get any kind of To-Do List completed 100%, I expect this to also be a failure (which actually makes me incredibly upset), but I figured I’d at least try and make this get all set up along with an average of about how much each will cost…if anything.
So, today, after checking if the boxes were there or not (they are not), it was a “what should I do today” kind of day. I ended up helping some people with pets (and talking about the Wonderous Egg), getting my armorings (for just 500K! Yay!), and looking at the GTN. After that, I went and did some leveling on Roseria. She is level 12 now and on Coruscant.
I will probably do a bit of PVP with her as I need to get her 1,100 Warzone Commendations for her top and bottom.
After that, I was dragged to a HM EC by a friend which is… okayish I guess. Not going fantastic, but not horrible either. One guy seems to have issues with the circles though and one tank gets hit REALLY hard. I’m trying my best, but I just feel like a failure 🙁
Protected: SWTOR Writes: General Prompt Post
Protected: Character Survey times yay
What To Do
So, recently, it hit me exactly what day today is. It is Thursday which is our new EC Normal Day due to the HM run being on Tuesday (as Reaper can’t run Thursdays).
I…don’t really want to go. Of course, I still feel loyal to the guild, but I am just so frustrated. I don’t really care about having things on farm. We’re not helping anyone with this run (nobody needs anything). We’re just doing it. Why? To remember that we were kicked from the HM group? And considering last week we only managed to get 2/4 (due to several changes), I don’t want to go again. I just don’t.
One person already went Hiatus from Raiding. I can’t help but wonder if it is partially due to this.
But, to make things more difficult, as you know, I went and raided a HM 16-man EC run (And I have to say I love 16-man as it really helps me learn the positioning of a fight) and due to the glitch with Mine-guy, we could not finish…they did, however, fix the glitch and so I have been invited to finish it up and get my final two codexes–plus my Aratech Midnight.
I am inclined to go with that as:
1. I hate leaving things undone. Seriously.
2. It was a raid with a lot of people I knew from outside the guild who I happened to be friends with.
3. It was actually fun–sometime I haven’t felt since all the HM EC stuff in our guild.
4. It will finish off almost all my codexes. I’d only need Nightmare KP ones (the title included) and then the rest are just glitched.
Of course, regardless of which I’ll pick, I will feel bad. As it is, my boyfriend isn’t feeling too well regardless (and is beyond pissed off with the whole situation) so he will most likely not be raiding tonight. I actually do have to bake cookies with my sister (once again I have been volunteered to make cookies for people 😐 ) so I may not even be on for the EC Normal raid which starts at 8. I should be on by 8:50 though, when the EC HM raid starts (and this is why I can’t just do both).
I also just…don’t feel wanted? I mean, when the person who you originally thought hated you (later learned he just has a kind of dry sarcasm) seems to be the only one who cares about you being there or staying, there is something wrong. Or you know, if you mention not being on due to being in a car accident and get only responded to by that same person while after a pause, the other people just go back to talking about some concert or show they saw. Thanks for the concern, guys.
In the meantime, I’ve been getting even more focused on gear. This is because I just want to get out of this outfit so badly (unfortunately, I only have like 400K so not sure if I can afford too as while other stuff was lowered to like 25K, Campaign/26 stuff is 30K :|) and I’m so pissed off with them right now and just want to show I don’t suck. And it wasn’t my fault. No, I don’t know or care how your other two healers are doing it, but apparently you’re just scraping by and it seems to be luck as it still takes several goes. I think the only operation boss I’ve always seen take several goes are the two tanks in EC just because of how much precision is needed. One single lag spike could kill everyone.
The Campaign chest and gloves drop from Mine-guy while the Main-hand and Helm drop from Kephess. At the very least, I really hope I can get the chest. Then I’d at least have the chest and pants and it wouldn’t be so horrible. I would say after that, I’d really want the gloves because giant pads on the gloves are just awkward. Of course, I’d love all 4, but I’d feel like a jerk unless nobody needed them. And I still need the boots from Nightmare Pilgrim, but I have to do him 2 more times anyway for the Aratech Coral. Still, hopefully then I will never see him again. He’s not so bad for a Healer though–just need to heal A LOT and avoid circles. It’s really mostly the DPS who need to make sure they listen so they don’t kill themselves.
Going back to more gear specific stuff, I actually saw 3 Advanced Mettle Mod 26 yesterday T__T They were about 500K each and thus, I couldn’t afford any of them. Not to mention 1.5 million is also how much I’d need to make Zoara (which I really want to–I hate having a slot just filled up for no reason. I want to get her made the way she is supposed to be) or I could get the two Ship Dummies with 500K to spare. And yes, Ship Legacy stuff is still super priority to me! But I’m no where close to ever having 5 million for a GTN 🙁 let alone the 1 million for the Dummies (which are probably the lowest priority). Not to mention I still need like 200K-300K for Miisha’s exp. stuff :/ (and I still need to get Amidaia to 50 already! And get all her companions up ._.)
Getting back to my original subject… unfortunately, when I checked this afternoon (though, still can’t afford it), all 3 were gone 🙁 I really should’ve seen if someone could loan me credits considering how rare it seems to be that a Mettle Mod 26 shows up in the first place (I’ve seen plenty of 25’s and many 26B’s and some 26A’s but just 26 is a foreign concept).
Overall though, I still need quite a bit–even though I have been prioritizing the mods. So, list time:
Hat: Campaign Headgear Armoring
Top: Campaign Vestments Armoring, Advanced Mettle Mod 26, Advanced Quick Savant Enhancement 26 (375K-500K. I could afford one right now, but it’d be all my money 🙁 )
Gloves: Campaign Gloves Armoring
Bracers: Advanced Resolve Armoring 26 (None for sale right now, but usually 2 million v-v)
Belt: Advanced Resolve Armoring 26 (see above)
Skirt/Pants: Advanced Mettle Mod 26
Boots: Campaign Boots Armoring, Advanced Mettle Mod 26
Main Hand: Advanced Resolve Hilt 26 (Campaign Main Hand), Advanced Quick Savant Enhancement 26 (See Top.)
So, I need 2 Advanced Resolve Armoring 26, 5 Campaign Drops for Armorings, 3 Advanced Mettle Mod 26, and 2 Advanced Quick Savant Enhancement 26 for a grand total of lots of emotional pain from EC HM and roughly 6.5 million credits. Lovely.
can I just have a pile of credits? please? ._. then I’d be able to finish all this junk and help my boyfriend get geared too and work on our alts so he can have more to go raid and just earning credits sucks. And while some people in our guild are starting to get these high mods, the whole making people pay for materials that everyone in the guild worked together to get really rubs me the wrong way :/ it may be cheaper (in some cases–though, I don’t believe they can make any of the ones I need ATM anyhow), but the principal of it bothers me too much.