Interesting Changes and Other News

So today, I did… *gasp* Dailies. Yep. Why, you ask? Because I wanted to get the relic/matrix cube I am hoping to use an Augment Kit on. I am now only 10 short so doing Corellia and then a little of Ilum should give me what I need. What surprised me though was that they changed the evil Daily flashpoint on Belsavis. It is DOABLE now. And it’s so much nicer. It almost made it fun and less like a chore. …regardless, I still hate dailies.

Besides that, I managed to get the speeder from HM False Emperor so yay~

Unfortunately, still no pet luck. Gargath is up, but I doubt I’ll find a group at this time πŸ™

Anyway, I’m not sure what I will be doing later besides doing Corellia and some of Ilum. I do know, however, that before I log off, I will be signing out next to the PVP Item Vendor.

I’ll probably stalk Gargath some more, maybe do some Lost Island…and hopefully find a group of people who wouldn’t mind finishing up HM Karagga with me (from Fabricator onward)… and also hopefully people in whichever groups those are won’t mind passing on the pet πŸ™ but something tells me that’ll be the hardest part.

Rants and Raves, I suppose

So, I have a bit to talk about… I guess I’ll start with heading to the Tatooine event. I’m not really much of a PVPer, nor do I care to, so instead, I found somewhere to hide and spectated. Surprisingly, most people didn’t even notice me–I think I was only noticed once and the person kind of just looked at me and then left. Despite just spectating inside somewhere, there was still quite a bit to see. Do kind of wish I could have seen stuff outside as well, however.

No idea why my name was blue and whatnot–same thing happens when I queue for warzones. I’ve reported it and people can still hit me (if they try to) so it’s not like I’m immune–just a weird glitch.

After about an hour, I headed to the fleet for the raid. We finished Karagga Normal and then started HM…unfortunately, lots of issues with Bonethrasher. A few people just…weren’t listening. I also lagged once though and got smacked into the green stuff so bleh. :/ After him though, we did pretty well and got to the enemies before Fabricator. We stopped there as some people needed to sleep soon.

So, I went to check on Gargath and he wasn’t up, so I kind of just signed off shortly after and I don’t think anyone would have helped me with him anyway even if he was up. Not because they’re being rude, but because all week it’s just been so much Gargath that they’re sick of him. Just like KP. I can’t blame them–even I’m kind of sick of them (Though, I do find Fabricator and Karagga fun, but I hate everything before it at this point), but like when I grinded up PVP to 65, I’m determined.

I’m a shy person, I hate asking for help (Part of why I am so upset I can’t do these things alone) as it makes me feel bad, and I also hate giving up. On the flipside, if I get excited about something, I can be quite loud. I can also be abrasive, pushy, stubborn, and can some on a bit strong with my goals.

The thing is, and even when I’m saying what I still need, I’m not trying to ask for favors. I’m not trying to guilt people to help. I am honestly just stating them (thus why I made this to write in). As an example, 90% of my friends can draw really well. I can’t stand how I draw so I often complain about it. And then at least 80% of them ask if I want something drawn and it’s not even what I was trying to imply. I state a lot of things for myself and sometimes, maybe, I just want someone to listen for once.

I guess the best way to explain how I think of things is an old phrase: “It’s more fun planning the party than the actual party is.”

This doesn’t work for me. My favorite part is after the party when we clean up and prepare for whenever another party may happen so as soon as it does happen, everything is ready to go. So, in short, I like to have my lists done. Completely empty. Then work on saving credits and materials and etc. for the next patch so as soon as it comes up, I’m good to go. I have gear, I have credits, I have all the current pets, and I am completely ready to dedicate to this new update. In fact, My OCPD is why I have these blogs because despite the fact I have a very good memory, it helps relieve some stress for me to write it all down.

The thing is, if I still have stuff to do, I can’t do that. I can’t just focus on what is in the update because I still have things to catch up on. Thus, I stress and I practically have an anxiety attack. And the thing that people don’t seem to understand is for every second that I am feeling like I am behind, the more stressed I feel and the more I push. I will not ask for help or freebies–in fact, if you offer, my answer will always be something like “If you want to” or “If you feel like” or “If you’d like to” and similar. I will not ask because I will feel bad and guilty if I do even if you obviously have no issue doing so. If I do receive a sudden mail, expect a bazillion OMGTHANKYOU as I will feel forever in your debt.

I am someone who would put aside everything to finish things. I have everything at that high priority and put my passion into every single thing.

I’m not trying to be annoying. Or use anyone. Or bother people.

But I am trying to make sure I can maybe get myself some actual sleep. And maybe not want to curl into a ball and cry out of stress.

And if I could, I’d try and complete the goals all by myself.

but I can’t.

I can’t either 2.5 million (or 16 million) by Tuesday.

I can’t hit valor 100 by Tuesday. And I’m sure when I try to PVP to get the commendations I need for the other pet (as warzone commendations max at 2K and I need a total of 4K for both) once 1.3 hits, I’m also going to be reminded just how much I suck and what a burden I am to whatever team gets me.

I can’t do Lost Island HM by myself. I can’t do Karagga HM by msyelf. I can’t beat Gargath by myself.

I’m useless.

And I’m sorry if it seems I’m bugging or being a bit too abrasive. I don’t expect you to do things just for me. I don’t expect any of you to do things for me.

but I don’t know what to do anymore.

and honestly, the thing that makes me no longer want to play things most of all (even more than repeating) is feeling like I’ve gotten too far left behind.

and I don’t want that to happen to this game too.

The stress has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’ll log in again before 1.3 and if I do, maybe to just find a HM Karagga group that wouldn’t mind just doing Fabricator and Karagga.

but I just feel like I’m done. like there’s nothing else I can do. I feel empty and like a failure and just the biggest pile of useless crud out of all the level 50’s on the entire game.

Mixed day

Today has been kind of depressing. I got yelled at in General Chat and implied that I was being a jerk/bragging/gloating when I was just answering a question πŸ™ I didn’t mean to–but it’s what they asked… And then I got accused of not healing well at the raid tonight which made me even more depressed.

I mean, I can’t really heal if you’re behind trees and if you’re too far away…pretty sure if you’re greyed out and stuff in my icons are grey when I have you highlighted, it means you are too far away. It wasn’t our usual tank, but I still felt bad. I really feel awful if people think my healing is bad .__. I do the best I can.

Luckily, everyone else was still really nice. Speaking of which, if you are on Corellian Run (whether new or have been there), our guild is currently recruiting! So, if you’re interested… :3

I also got to do a Lost Island Normal Run today! Dear god, considering what you get for Lost Island HM, the gear for Lost Island Normal is surprising at how bad it is :/

Then tonight, I found a Gargath group and he wasn’t up πŸ™ Which kind of sucked. I’ve just been waiting here now (though, a few other people who were in the group are waiting too which is very nice of them!)… On the brighter side of things, I made a friend with a Sith Sorcerer who was also looking for Gargath. Thank you Kalezr for the wonderful chat :3 Unfortunately, it does seem Gargath really does only respawn every 4 ours :/ Have been waiting here over 2 hours since we got here and nothing.

Besides that, I’ve updated the Pet Guide a little bit so be sure to check that out and I’m updating some of the (few) pictures on the blog as well. And also thought of an idea which will hopefully get the screenshots over on the sidebar all set up. Hopefully. It’ll be random though…but I think that’s a bit more fun.

Battle of Ilum, The Foundry, Population, Valor Worries + more

So, quite a bit to talk about :3 Shall go in order~

Battle of Ilum:
Finally got to do Battle of Ilum HM! My boyfriend and I went with two of our guildmates πŸ™‚ And we even did the bonus boss! It went really well and I had fun. We’re hopefully going to do False Emperor tomorrow and then I’ll have my Aratech Ice <3 What was really fun is we got to go through the Secret Tunnel πŸ™‚ It is an old thing left during development/Beta when they wanted to put some Datacrons in Flash Points. It has a bunch of the crates you can break to get further along with the Bonus Boss and a Security Chest! It's in the giant crystal cave area :3 Just look for a tiny cove on the map with a few enemies and then look carefully for a tiny opening that turns into a path and it is so cool. The Foundry: Found some time to pop on Amidaia today and took care of the Foundry for the first time. We finally hit a flashpoint we couldn't do with just two companions, but luckily were able to find someone who was going to do it with us πŸ™‚ I have taken Amidaia back to Quesh so hopefully maybe we can get some leveling in. Population: SO MANY PEOPLE. We had 300-400+ people on the Republic Fleet during Prime time and about 500 on the Imperial Fleet! PVPers were in their glory and everyone seemed to be getting along, though, I did see some rude people. I'm hoping to maybe see people looking for groups for Gargath as I'm pretty shy :/ I have seen lots of KP groups though so if our guild doesn't have time to during the week, at least I should be able to go to one! I just hope to see people asking for Gargath. However, due to experiences, I think I'm really too shy to join someone's Looking for group for Lost Island. It just is...a flash point that makes me really nervous and I know a lot of people really have no respect for mistakes and I'd rather not cry for feeling like a failure. Especially as I hate giving up. Wish I could find someone to do Lost Island normal already though. But yes, was nice seeing so many people--even if we were full at one point and had to wait like 20 minutes to get in πŸ˜› Valor Worries: Guild said that due to other games, there was a chance with Ranked Warzones that Valor would be removed eventually. At the moment, I am valor level 73. I still have 27 levels to go to max out valor for all the titles. That's... a lot, especially at this high and the idea is just stressing me out completely. Moving on to other subjects: Our Guild has a new GM as the old one feels they will be too busy. I do know the new GM better than the old one so it's not too much of a change--most people are also in that boat. I actually got promoted to Officer though which was a nice surprise! Right now, they're trying to figure out recruiting along with what to do with Raid Groups. They are thinking of making our Raid Group the first one (we are #2) at the moment and vice versa--I kind of hope they do that as I really like the group I raid with. Besides that, I re-maxed Slicing πŸ™‚ And am continuing to try and use that to earn some money. Hopefully I'll have a good amount of credits soon. Edit: And speaking of awesome guildmates, I received a special gift when I got up this morning: 10

Lost Island, Feeling Down, etc.

So, I recently started playing an MMO I used to play a couple of years ago (I wasn’t able to play too much until recently as my old Laptop failed miserably and my computer seemed to hate the game for some reason). I’m still playing SWTOR, but how much I suck at earning credits is really getting to me. If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a very focused and orderly person–so doing things like playing another character before I have the priority Legacy Stuff (all the Ship Unlocks) is driving me crazy on the inside–as is still needing 5 pets (M0-GUL Thrall Droid, Taunling, Midnight Rakling, Orosquab, and Orochick (Though, this last one is still being figured out how to get…) and it’s just getting to me beyond words and I really don’t know what I can do. Dailies just kill the game for me. And most people don’t really understand that, but I have -so much trouble- with those kinds of things. This is the first time I have ever made an alt in a game. Most likely as the Imperial storyline was different enough, but when it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do much other than want to just rush through the stories unless something is different enough.

I have beaten a lot of games. However, I have never started over my progress and played through it again. At all. If my game got erased? I made someone else play it and told them exactly what to do. If I couldn’t find someone to do that, I never played again. The only exception was Sonic Adventure which was essentially insane and it was only because my Dreamcast would kill the data everytime I got to 60% (It wasn’t until the Gamecube version came out that I was finally able to finish it).

But yes, in short, I’m just out of ideas. I can’t play the market (I’d end up losing money, not making any, and I’d feel guilty anyway), Crafting is just…not something I understand when it comes to making a profit, Dailies essentially ruin the game for me (it doesn’t matter if I run them with friends), and I just don’t know. It doesn’t help that everyone is so busy doing stuff with their guilds and/or doing the new flash point and operation and so nobody wants to go fight Gargath, most people have their Lost Island Groups, and Operations still have lock outs.

And of course, there are some exceptions when there ARE people looking for a healer for Lost Island. Unfortunately, in that circumstance, I’m terrified. Ignoring that Rakghouls make me nervous and that Flashpoint is creepy, it’s just healer heavy and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten the changes down enough in 1.2. I’ve done it successfully 2 or 3 times now. Failed once on Hard (Couldn’t figure out a good strategy for the robot boss at the time) and once on Normal (Tank and Melee DPS would not listen. At all. Also had more health than the Tank and Melee DPS which is never a good sign). There’s just many times since 1.2 where I will actually have all my heals cooling down. All of them. And the robot and first part of the final boss have so much moving around…I mean, when you need to stand still for nearly all your heals (all but one), that is horrible.

This flashpoint also showed me just how bad the nerfs could be. What I find hilarious is they were supposed to be PVP nerfs and I honestly don’t feel nerfed at all in PVP. And I don’t even like PVP. I wish they could’ve made it so it applies to PVP only. They made it so you can’t summon certain things in PVP, would it be that hard to make it so certain nerfs happened only in PVP?

But for the main healing class to essentially need the longest time to cast their big heal? I never realized just how bad that extra second for 2.5 (though, mine is 2.3 on my main character due to Alacrity) was. There are many times where I just barely get it out and I feel horrible. And of course, there are times where I do well and I heal through a missed incinerate or get everyone quickly topped back up, but I’m just terrified. I don’t want people yelling at me for something I can not control.

And don’t even get me started on Noble Sacrifice. In a fight where you are moving around a lot of NEED to stay away from everyone else, you can not be in your AoE heal. And with the healing changes, you can not afford to be healing yourself. If you are the lone healer and have to move a lot or be far away, it can be very hard to keep your force up while making sure you won’t die instantly if an extra enemy or some surrounding traps suddenly smack you in the face.

Once I do get the Mysterious Egg and Midnight Rakling from the flashpoint, I wouldn’t mind never doing it again. Ever.

but yes, back to why this was originally made before I went into a tangent about fears and things… I suck at earning credits and I guess I just wanted to play something (even though I still suck at putting) else for a bit of a break…which really isn’t a break because I’ll be playing SWTOR later anyway once my boyfriend is up *really not feeling well and thus, woke up early*.

…I just need some cheering up πŸ™

Feeling Wanted + Updates

It’s been a lot of fun with our new guild. Mar-gon got to completely do Explosive Conflict this week and I got to help with the final boss last night. I got my Rakata hat and he received his Rakata mainhand.

I also have been brought along on a few Hard Modes to try and get my vehicle achievements done. Coming from where it had always been the same group or very self-focused, it’s nice to see this and be offered slots in PVP queues and asked if I want to fill in and it’s just so different. They also don’t mind trying to call someone else in for a raid that isn’t in the guild. They prefer it over canceling because it’s not fair to the others. And all the gear is shared and they don’t care who needs it as long as they can use it and it’s just so nice.

We even got to do Karagga’s Palace (still no pet though πŸ™ ) and Esseles HM today!

It makes me all excited~ And we’re even making a guild on the Imperial side now too πŸ˜€

Also, we now have a screenshot showing on the sidebar πŸ™‚ It will eventually be the most recent screencap I took and you can click the name to see all screencaps on a Tumblr blog. Will also help make sure images show up over here too eventually <3

“The “Exit Area” button in Flashpoints and Operations is now disabled during combat.”

While I essentially saw the “EGGS CAN BE SOLD ON THE MARKET NOW” (Speaking of which, other than the Unusual Egg, I’ve seen 2 Ice Scrabbler Jerky and a Pale Rakling go up on our server), some of the other patch notes recently hit me.

Most importantly, the one in the subject above: “The “Exit Area” button in Flashpoints and Operations is now disabled during combat.”

I suppose this was done so people can’t get our of repair bills during a wipe in an operation or flash point.

The issue is, a lot of the time (since most people can’t even exit before that happens) it is because of a glitch. For example, Soa suddenly not coming down or resetting–you will sometimes still be in combat. Then what? Do I just kill myself when I technically shouldn’t have died?

Recently, a guildmate and I were stuck in a Mind Trap after Soa went away. We were forced to “/stuck” which killed us which was kind of unfair.

We’ve had instances where platforms don’t spawn or an enemy spawns multiple times and now we’re forced to pay repair bills for something that may not even be our fault.

And credits aren’t exactly that easy to come around πŸ™ At least repair costs are cheaper, but I can barely afford them lately.

Lost Island Hard Mode!

Managed to do it today πŸ˜€ Robot is DEFINITELY the hardest. Most of the other bosses are easy if you listen to strategies and pay attention to what the bosses do and the only other challenge really comes with the final boss. The first part is pretty hard (but expected rather than cruel) but the second part is MUCH easier–you just have to be very quick and kill him before you die (It’s essentially a giant room of poison at that point).

Sadly, neither pet dropped πŸ™ But I got a Columi Main Hand AND Rakata top! Woo! Even though set bonuses are glitched, I’ll probably just pull the mods. The Healing Trance bonus doesn’t make that much of a difference and I missed this outfit so much.

Normal Battle of Ilum and onward

If there’s one thing I rarely ever see, it’s Normal Battle of Ilum and Normal False Emperor (Also Normal Kaon and Normal Lost Island). I can at least say I’ve seen Normal Kaon once, but as for the other 3? I have yet to.

The reason why is obvious–when you hit 50, you can do hard modes and that is what people run to. But I still don’t understand exactly why people skip normal.

Yes, you get better gear when you do them. But there’s still stuff to learn! Not to mention normal is still part of it. Plus there’s codexes and you have to do the normal versions for the final parts of Ilum’s planet story quest.

Now if only other people felt that way too πŸ™

Time, Random Event Rambles, and Characters

If there’s one thing that the game manages to have me think a lot about, it’s time. If you play both the Imperial and Republic storylines, you will get to a few instances where the planet you end up visiting takes place before or after the other faction has been there.

For example, you end up seeing Balmorra much earlier in the Imperial Storyline while you see Taris much later. It is reversed in the Republic Storyline. The effects of those earlier story lines end up being part of the later ones and the connection is very neat.

We had just finished Balmorra on the Imperial side so it was interesting to see the differences. Cessik, in particular, made me feel really bad about the Colicoids. I can’t help but wonder what happened to him.

But I remember watching my boyfriend go through the Jedi Knight Storyline during when he gets his last companion, the timing was very vague. It wasn’t stated just how long he was there–it could’ve been weeks, maybe months, and that is another aspect of just how time is.

There’s also instances where you may see companions of other classes featured while doing stuff with your companions on your character, for example in Qyzen’s story, there is actually a scene with him and Mako. I do wonder if you get Mako up, if you can find out why she owed Qyzen by any chance, as it’s not really detailed how she owed him a favor.

Similarly, for Jedi Knight’s, Doc ends up having Kaliyo in his storyline. Does Kaliyo ever vanish in the Imperial Agent Story line? Just all kinds of interesting questions.

Though, one that made me sad is that Vette never interacts with Risha. If you have seen Vette’s storyline, you will understand why this is pretty depressing.

I guess I’d love to get an idea on how the timing goes. I mean, when you’re doing the consular’s storyline and if all classes end up on Ilum at the same time, where are you while the Knight is being brainwashed? It’s just a lot to think about. Especially if you’re playing with each of the classes on your journey. For example, I totally ended up finishing off the Emperor when I was helping my boyfriend in his story. It’s not ever mentioned because technically there is no consular in the story–I was an unseen presence mixed in who totally replaced Kira.

I don’t expect them to make it recognizable–that’d be far too much work, but I think seeing some mixed things would be neat. I know there were occasional mentions of Player-Player romance and remember thinking that it’d be neat if each player had a few choices to pick from in those environments to kind of show what happened rather than just going into a family tree and setting spouse or something.

Speaking of family trees, I ended up remaking my Imperial Agent and Bounty Hunter. I had yet to do anything on either of them (besides pick up my mail) and had wanted to remake them for a while. I’ll hopefully remake my Smuggler soon, but that’ll cost 1.5 million and I do not have that… (Similarly, my Trooper which I do not have yet will be 1.5 million as well)…and let’s be honest, if I had 1.5 million, it’d be going to ship stuff.

…I really want the ship stuff πŸ™ Why must dailies be the only way to get a nice amount of money T__T

Going back to the topic of family trees, I did end up making my Bounty Hunter and Imperial Agent sisters. I’m not really a big RPer, but it’s sometimes fun to think of character’s backstories. (Similarly, my Sorcerer and Sage are cousins, as will my Smuggler and Trooper be). Especially intertwined with the class stories.

And heading back to the original subject of time, that brings up a good idea of the event. Just how long does it last? Was the crash really that Sunday (ignoring that the area showed up earlier than that) or did they just finally get out Sunday? If the latter, why wasn’t it inspected earlier? How long exactly was the Shaman looking for a cure? It sounded like a long time, but it didn’t happen that long ago. Was there another incident? Just how does a day in RL translate to the time going in the game? Or does the time depend on just how much you do in the game? (and yes, I know I’m probably overthinking it)

Regardless, there is a new daily today, following the format. I expect the top to be out tomorrow unless they do end up giving everything (bracers, belt, weapon, etc.), but something tells me they won’t. Also, for those who also did not get their title, you’ll be happy to know it’s “fixed” now. In order to get your title, you must re-defeat the Infected Bantha in Outlaw’s Den. While I am happy it’s fixed, I really wish it could’ve been ANY of the infected bosses and not the hardest one considering that needs the biggest group and for crying out loud, it’s the one in the PVP area πŸ™

Finally, to end this off, after talking to someone with the gold minimech today *ENVY*, it hit me the other big reason why I wanted to get it before 1.2. As with any big patch of new content…that’s what everyone wants to see. Thus why so many people on Tatooine (I hadn’t seen multiple instances of it in a very long time) and on the fleet trying to do the new flashpoint and operation. Ignoring who they will probably do the new content with….the old content is, well, old, and if you didn’t finish it before, it’s going to be even harder to find a group now πŸ™