So, I recently started playing an MMO I used to play a couple of years ago (I wasn’t able to play too much until recently as my old Laptop failed miserably and my computer seemed to hate the game for some reason). I’m still playing SWTOR, but how much I suck at earning credits is really getting to me. If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a very focused and orderly person–so doing things like playing another character before I have the priority Legacy Stuff (all the Ship Unlocks) is driving me crazy on the inside–as is still needing 5 pets (M0-GUL Thrall Droid, Taunling, Midnight Rakling, Orosquab, and Orochick (Though, this last one is still being figured out how to get…) and it’s just getting to me beyond words and I really don’t know what I can do. Dailies just kill the game for me. And most people don’t really understand that, but I have -so much trouble- with those kinds of things. This is the first time I have ever made an alt in a game. Most likely as the Imperial storyline was different enough, but when it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do much other than want to just rush through the stories unless something is different enough.

I have beaten a lot of games. However, I have never started over my progress and played through it again. At all. If my game got erased? I made someone else play it and told them exactly what to do. If I couldn’t find someone to do that, I never played again. The only exception was Sonic Adventure which was essentially insane and it was only because my Dreamcast would kill the data everytime I got to 60% (It wasn’t until the Gamecube version came out that I was finally able to finish it).

But yes, in short, I’m just out of ideas. I can’t play the market (I’d end up losing money, not making any, and I’d feel guilty anyway), Crafting is just…not something I understand when it comes to making a profit, Dailies essentially ruin the game for me (it doesn’t matter if I run them with friends), and I just don’t know. It doesn’t help that everyone is so busy doing stuff with their guilds and/or doing the new flash point and operation and so nobody wants to go fight Gargath, most people have their Lost Island Groups, and Operations still have lock outs.

And of course, there are some exceptions when there ARE people looking for a healer for Lost Island. Unfortunately, in that circumstance, I’m terrified. Ignoring that Rakghouls make me nervous and that Flashpoint is creepy, it’s just healer heavy and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten the changes down enough in 1.2. I’ve done it successfully 2 or 3 times now. Failed once on Hard (Couldn’t figure out a good strategy for the robot boss at the time) and once on Normal (Tank and Melee DPS would not listen. At all. Also had more health than the Tank and Melee DPS which is never a good sign). There’s just many times since 1.2 where I will actually have all my heals cooling down. All of them. And the robot and first part of the final boss have so much moving around…I mean, when you need to stand still for nearly all your heals (all but one), that is horrible.

This flashpoint also showed me just how bad the nerfs could be. What I find hilarious is they were supposed to be PVP nerfs and I honestly don’t feel nerfed at all in PVP. And I don’t even like PVP. I wish they could’ve made it so it applies to PVP only. They made it so you can’t summon certain things in PVP, would it be that hard to make it so certain nerfs happened only in PVP?

But for the main healing class to essentially need the longest time to cast their big heal? I never realized just how bad that extra second for 2.5 (though, mine is 2.3 on my main character due to Alacrity) was. There are many times where I just barely get it out and I feel horrible. And of course, there are times where I do well and I heal through a missed incinerate or get everyone quickly topped back up, but I’m just terrified. I don’t want people yelling at me for something I can not control.

And don’t even get me started on Noble Sacrifice. In a fight where you are moving around a lot of NEED to stay away from everyone else, you can not be in your AoE heal. And with the healing changes, you can not afford to be healing yourself. If you are the lone healer and have to move a lot or be far away, it can be very hard to keep your force up while making sure you won’t die instantly if an extra enemy or some surrounding traps suddenly smack you in the face.

Once I do get the Mysterious Egg and Midnight Rakling from the flashpoint, I wouldn’t mind never doing it again. Ever.

but yes, back to why this was originally made before I went into a tangent about fears and things… I suck at earning credits and I guess I just wanted to play something (even though I still suck at putting) else for a bit of a break…which really isn’t a break because I’ll be playing SWTOR later anyway once my boyfriend is up *really not feeling well and thus, woke up early*.

…I just need some cheering up 🙁