So, I had a dream I had suddenly been given 100 million credits, had gotten 2400 Ranked Warzone Rating, 100 Valor, 999 Daily Commendations, and max ranked and normal warzone commendations. Ignoring that this obviously means I’ve been playing SWTOR a bit too much, I was having a field day completing all of my goals. Getting my gear fixed up, getting all the mounts, getting a few Warzone stuff (including the Relic I need), and being able to get various Legacy stuff along with finally having all my alts good and ready to go.

I was just ecstatic and knew that now I could save for any future stuff they came out with… and then I woke up.

I’m a very all or nothing person. Similarly, I’m also very indecisive and stress easily. This is why I group things together and it’s not one or two things, but the whole group. All the mounts. All the ship legacy stuff. It isn’t 500K for this thing then 1 million for that–it’s 7.5 million for it all.

While I have a good memory, I’m a person who likes to get things done so I don’t have to worry about it.

Unfortunately, I was stupid and decided to take a risk and start working on my gear only for me to now start freaking the heck out. Why? Because not all my gear has been changed at once. I’m essentially having a nervous break-down having just spent most of my money (which was also stupid and I already regret it) on an enhancement due to it being 200K cheaper than usual–not to mention taking things out (in case this was all a mistake) and getting an Augment Slot on a new implant.

This is one of those things where I essentially would be okay if I had a mass amount of credits and just told someone to take care of it for me because I completely freak out. I do not like change. In fact, my boyfriend had to do the diplomacy missions to dark side because going to dark side to get the pet and speeder made me ridiculously uncomfortable. So changing parts of my gear is just really getting to me. And I’m not sure what to do.

From the wonderfully confusing topic I made, so far it seems I should do this:
1. Get War Hero Relic
2. Get Magenta +41 Power Crystal (About 350K right now on the market)
3. Get 4 Advanced Aptitude Mods (25 or 26.) – 400K-750K each
4. Get 4 Advanced Mettle Mods (25 or 26) – 400K-500K each
5. Get an Advanced Adept Enhancement 24 (About 250K)
6. Get another Black Hole Implant

Depending on how that goes, I’ll either be:
Switching around enhancements more (Will probably need several Quick Savant (500K))
and/or switching around Augments.

And I just…can’t afford that. In total, that is at least 4,300,000. And I just… I don’t know what to do. I’d probably need closer to 5 million due to pulling things out and having to add new Augment slots to some stuff. At the same time, I already started the process and I can’t exactly reverse it. So now I’m stuck and freaking out and just…upset and stressed and I really wish I knew what to do. (this is also part of why I want the races for alts already–it bothers me knowing two characters are not ready to go yet)

Moving on to rumors as I continue stressing completely, if the event is this week, the chances are it’ll be today–possibly within amount the next 10 minutes or the next 70 minutes. I guess we’ll see. Part of me wants it to, but on the otherhand, I haven’t done Karagga (Story or Hard mode) yet so if it does, I don’t think I’ll be getting a group this week…

…so stressed. .__. if you have some piles of credits sitting around and happen to be on Corellian Run, please think of donating to the Save Marilea from a Panic attack fund. She’ll pay you back eventually.