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So much ugh.

Aug1

So, if last week’s run was bad, this week has managed to top it. About half of each raid group was missing so we ended up doing some mixing and matching and it just…wasn’t very good. Our other tank didn’t seem to know what they were doing a few times (and thus, at the tanks as they got out of my sight, it was totally my fault for not healing enough 😐 STILL CAN’T SEE THROUGH LOGS/TREES).

And after we got the tanks down (took us 2 hours to get to that point), when one of our DPS had to go, it was used as an excuse to stop…even though we had another DPS on who could come. So we just went to the chest for commendations and stopped since nobody else wanted to continue. And I just hate that attitude. Seriously.

As it is, most of my credits are now gone too thanks to repairs. It was just horrible.

Moving on, besides not feeling like an officer whatsoever (It seems it’s mostly the GM, the co-GM and then a officer who was supposed to be temporary who end up doing all the talking about junk), there is a “selective” HM EC group happening on Thursday.

I…hate that. I really don’t like Elitism at all. So, I already figured my boyfriend and I are not going. Eventually, as we may be heading down to VA on Thursday (most likely Friday, but maybe Thursday) and I was asked if I wanted to do a HM run by someone else due to us doing story mode today, I decided to ask.

The response? For my boyfriend, no. For me, I was one of the “unconfirmed” slots. Aka a maybe. And since they never asked me, that means:
1. Either they need to talk and see if anyone would mind (And I’m sure I can guess some of the people in the group and thus, who would mind)
and/or
2. They have better healers in mind and are waiting to hear back.

Even if I do get picked, just because I can tell I’m not really a definite choice and the fact that they kicked my boyfriend to the curb, I will probably decline it. I just…don’t like that. At all.

So maybe I’ll do HM with a different group on Thursday. If I do it at all. However, if I do, I just hope I don’t disappoint them.

Besides that, as expected with the news (see last entry), some people are just being obnoxious jerks. Including friends. Some are excited to play, others are kind of okay and are looking forward to playing just not with you and others are being complete buttheads. And that’s really what’s upsetting me.

Last Day

Jul30

So, today is the last day to participate in the transfers for the Gannifari! (and well, 25 Black Hole Commendations, but pfft, who cares about those)

I am excited as that means it’ll hopefully come out soon. I am hoping it may be given out tomorrow then (Due to an update), but I know it probably won’t be until August 1st-7th.

I’m also hoping maybe the next event will start soon.

of course, right now, I’m really in just a horrible fight with myself over not wanting to do EC HM due to drama, but wanting to do it so I can get out of this stupid outfit. :/ blah.

So many feelings

Jul20

Today…has not been a very good day. In fact, when they least sucky part of the day was dailies, that kind of says it all.

I’m still pretty frustrated with my stupid armor. And the fact that I’m not being listened to. Because, you know, obviously leveling up with this class means nothing. I either have to wear it or I will not be able to do Hard Mode Explosive Conflict. That is stupid for something that has no stat benefits. Quoting the guide mentioned earlier in another quote of theirs:

In terms of set bonuses, the 2-piece should be considered compulsory (a reduction on the cooldown of our bread-and-butter ability is invaluable), while the 4-piece is optional. The extra 50 force points provides a small buffer, and also makes Noble Sacrifice regain slightly more force (since it returns a fixed percentage of your health pool), but if you manage your resources effectively you should have no issues without it.

And it’s true. It’s just…it doesn’t help. Even one of our guild mates who healed while he leveled said it makes no difference. Because it doesn’t. But gee, what do I know? I’d love to switch back. So much. But I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to be yelled at. Not to mention I’m sure who they’re place me with…and god they annoy me. And I can’t afford to anyway. He may have paid for me to switch, but who’s stuck paying to switch back to what I didn’t want to switch from to begin with? Me. 🙁

Anyway, I had gotten on to do some comparisons and things while working from home today, but was dragged off to dailies (Told I could just throw down heals and follow along) so I shrugged and gave in. We ended up stopping after Belsavis though to help out friends. They went to help out a guildmate with the +10 Fleet Datacron and I went to help a friend with LI HM as the healer with him quit…unfortunately, the DPS with him got tired of waiting (it wasn’t even long) and also quit. I managed to bring in 2 DPS and it just…it was horrible. I can’t even pinpoint what went wrong. The DPS was pretty low, which was odd as I know both are capable and have seen them do it together, the tank was just…kind of awkward? I guess? My heals seemed useless. And I got grenaded several times which didn’t help. I just… I can’t even… I honestly don’t know. I’m just going to say this outfit is cursed.

We eventually had to go–the two DPS were just tired of losing (and I can’t blame them. I honestly don’t know what went wrong though) and I had a raid to do go…which ended up being canceled due to us missing a healer. So, I was told to go join the other Ops group to help them finish up EC (they just had Kephess left) and they’d save the rest of them to help on Sunday.

…now, I like most of the other raid team, but why wasn’t I asked? I was just told what to do. I still had to work, my boyfriend wanted to do some stuff with me when he heard, but I was sent off. I really don’t care that it was half done either, but my issue is nobody even asked.

Anyway, it took us 4 tries as I got berated by one specific tank for not healing well enough (along with the other healer, but I’m sure it was more towards me–not the first time). Regardless, we did get it done. After, they apparently wanted to drag me on a KP HM–but not only is it not my usual group (though, I would’ve loved to help out most of them) and I didn’t know what my group was doing, I still had work to do and my boyfriend had wanted to play with me and once again, I wasn’t asked, it was just pretty much “you’re coming, right?”. I just…seriously, ask. I can’t stress that enough. And I really didn’t have time today. I only got 1/3 of the work done (though, I should be able to get the rest done today) due to constant streams of “It’ll only take a few minutes, it’s just *insertwhateverhere*” and fdl;sdgkgd;lsdl;sd I just…seriously. Too many feelings and frustrations.

In a note of happy today, however, I received these wonderful WIPs that were drawn by Sakonma. I will be using one (possibly both–but at least one) for when I work on the new banner:

I can’t wait to see them colored.

Besides that, Codex Progress is now under “When it comes to Collecting…” and also a new section under “My Characters”.

Also, been having lots of creativity strikes lately–unfortunately, I can’t draw so four of them won’t happen, but I may write a bit. So if you see any password protected entries…that’s why. You have to suffer enough when you read this stuff–I won’t make you suffer more by reading my fanfiction.

Broken Spirit

Jul18

Short version:
Currently stuck back in Rakata/Tionese/Columni gear for a Set Bonus that is absolute crud because the person playing the class (aka me) obviously doesn’t know better. -_-

Missing my Elegant Dress. Frustrated with HM EC (and the fact that I can only get the Set Bonus from Campaign and if I get lucky enough to have the Consular gear drop + win it). Sick of having like no credits.

My birthday is in about 10 minutes has started by the time I finished writing this and I was looking forward to having an endless party on the fleet (just a little one tonight and most of the day tomorrow), but now I just want to curl up into a ball and cry out of frustration.

Long version:
Continue reading →

Worthless

Jul11

So, today we were doing Explosive Conflict. We finished normal with ease and decided to try the first boss fight on HM. We got them to about 10% the final time (I think we did it 3-5 times before that). I died… a lot. Partially because I would get too far and then not be able to heal but being too close made me lose 25%-75$ if my health and bleh. I’m a shy person so I don’t really feel comfortable telling people to move…even if they have to. I did voice myself a little that last attempt, however, and that seemed to work.

I thought we did okay for our first tries on HM.

And I may have been the only one to feel that way.

Our guild leader whispered me saying how he was going to give me a million, but I’d have to spend it on something I wouldn’t like. I figured it was somewhat gear related (or forcing me to get my Twi’lek so I can make my Scoundrel to level up with my boyfriend so he could make his Vanguard), but if he made me get the mods I wanted, it’s not like I’d have minded. He made a small joke about the dancer outfit (he is constantly trying to bribe me to wear it or one of the slave outfits on raids. I repeatedly say no unless they want to give me like 15 million because I know they won’t do it and I’m not dressing like that.

Back to the subject, I was right about the gear part, but wrong about the specifics. He asked me to use it to get 4 Columni/Tionese pieces for the set bonus and to move my mods and whatnot to them for using to Raid. Now, I think I’ve mentioned how uncomfortable I am to switch things in parts–that also extends to switching things to temporary places. I feel incredibly uncomfortable switching my mods and stuff from gear I plan to keep to some other gear I was hoping I’d never see again with its giant shoulder pads, fan hat, and football player gloves.

I tried to explain that there was no point for me to have them. The Healing Trance thing didn’t help too much as I never had a point where I needed to use it and it had yet to finish cooling down. The 50 extra force is just barely 1 good heal–and with how long it takes to cast since the nerf (2.3 seconds is long when it gets down to the wire–and again, yes, the main healing class gets the slowest big heal), you will honestly just die anyway if it came down to that ever being useful.

I was then made further bad saying our other healer healed more even though there were plenty of times I was healing more and it just sucked.

So now I’m just upset. And I have this stupid million sitting in my inventory to do something I’m going to hate and feel incredibly uncomfortable with and twitchy for something that won’t make a difference at all other than being a waste of money.

may just go cry now or something. I already felt sad enough never being asked to group with people recently Yes, I hate PVP, but it’s still nice to be asked sometimes… Plus, I do have to do it occasionally-especially to get that stupid relic 🙁 and I know I’ll have to hit 2200 ranking for that speeder v-v Not to mention getting to Valor 100 for codexes…

*sighs* .__. I need a pick-me up. And no, a week to my birthday isn’t one.

Edit: After thinking of it more, I realized even more so this won’t make a difference. Ignoring how useless 50 is, the problem is my health gets too low (as I keep getting hit by Toth) to replenish it. Having 50 extra force won’t fix that. Only positioning will.

Tiredness stinks & At a Loss

Jul4

Well, I’m still having trouble sleeping lately so our raid tonight was a bit awkward. I died 3 times (fell of a cliff, blew up on the mine field…though, I guess I lagged into it as I swore I was okay, and died at Kephess) which made me feel bad. Regardless, we did finish it. Still no pet though and the longer without anyone seeing it who plays, the less likely I feel it may be there in the first place. I mean, if the devs can even just say yes or no if it comes from Explosive Conflict, that would be amazing. Regardless, because of this, I may start my Vendor search (and Area Quest* check too) today.

As for at the loss…it essentially is partially due to that. My boyfriend hasn’t really wanted to play (which means no leveling other characters–he says he’s just burnt out with our Sith characters and really wants to play his trooper, but he needs to wait for my Smuggler and I do not have the 1.5 million for her yet…and regardless, I don’t feel like that’s the only reason either) and I have had no luck getting friends to play either. Similarly, most of what I want to do requires an obscene amount of credits that I just don’t have to be blunt. I would need to do dailies every day for about 4 months in order to get to about what I’d need. And that would include buying absolutely nothing so I really don’t know what I’m going to do because if I did dailies every day for 4 months, I would probably never be able to play this game again. if I even made it that far. It is really awkward when you know everyone has more credits than you do. Besides credits, the only other things left are operations which I need to see what my guild is doing first. On Monday, if they haven’t done anything, then I will usually look for a group though…but I think we will be and I hope I’ll stay more awake. I also hope we’ll do NM EV and KP soon, along with Nightmare Pilgrim and HM EV. I want to get all the codexes 😛 (and some of my other speeders)

The only thing I can really do by myself though is explore and while I enjoy exploring, it’s just not very fun by yourself. Exploring Taris all alone kind of sucks (especially as I’m not fond of the planet to begin with) and trying to find vendors and stuff alone sucks too plus it’s just nice to have another set of eyes.

Also, the Parlor Dance is my favorite dance. Makes me sad only Twi’leks get it 🙁

*I know I mentioned I ended up finding one in Hoth later..but I did actually uncover the area beforehand and still missed the quest somehow. It can be very fidget-y with the range.

Rock Climbing in Denova and Pet Peeve

Jul2

So, I decided to fully explore Denova some more and at this point… I just think if it’s anything, it’s unfortunately a drop. I tried to take some screenshots, but for whatever reason, the button just wouldn’t screenshot anything. I’ve tried switching it to a different button before with no luck so it’s just some weird game issue.

Regardless, we climbed up lots of neat rocks, climbed on Kephess’ force field, and found out Denova is flat (it’s roundness is a lie). It was a lot of fun, at the very least. I do kind of wish the egg-nest-operation thing was true however, as not only would that be a lot of fun, it would’ve made my day to find and just have one pet left.

Continuing on, that brings me to a personal Pet Peeve of mine: Rumors.

If you don’t know something, just say so. Or if it’s a theory, MENTION THAT WITH WHAT YOU WRITE. It’s frustrating when people make things up as it gets people’s hopes up and can even become trolling. But what’s worse is when people just take it without any proof or details and things and put it up all over as if it’s true. Rumors are bad enough by themselves, but it’s even worse when people help spread them. Would just be nice if people would actually do the research once in a while.

So many feelings

Jul1

With getting my Midnight Rakling finally, I’ve been a little confused on what to do. I technically only have 2 confirmed pets left–one which is still just a giant rumor (which people unfortunately keep circulating :/) while the other…well, Karagga’s Palace only can be done twice a week (once on Nightmare/Hard and once on Normal aka Story). I will probably try and queue up in ground finder later today if our guild doesn’t decide to do it for fun or something. Main worry here is I’d rather not compete with people for it. It’s just been too long and I’m so close.

With the Wonderous/Wondrous Egg, I decided to explore Explosive Conflict some more. However, it can be a bit boring 🙁 Would be a lot more fun if I had someone to explore with, but regardless I will probably explore a bit more tomorrow as I only managed to explore about half way.

But yes, I just wish the rumors could finally end and maybe the egg could be figured out. I really hate false information :/

Also may try and explore Taris again to find nests…. but I just seem to be so bad at doing so ._.

On a different note, Marilea is apparently an actual name and a form of Marilee (and can be pronounced like Marilee or lee-uh at the end instead). It also can mean Star of the Sea in Latin…for names anyway.

…To think, I came up with a name randomly that turned out to be a name afterall. Well, that works I suppose.

NEVER HAVE TO DO LOST ISLAND AGAIN :D

Jun30

Yes. That is what you think it is. I finally got a Midnight Rakling! The tank we were with was kind of iffy (lost aggro a lot, barely listened to questions and seemed confused despite supposedly having done this before–also didn’t bring the final boss in his final phase to the door and now I know why it’s so important to) and despite my really wanting the pet, let me know that he wanted it because a bunch of his guildmates had it 😐

again, seriously, just… if you don’t truly, really, want something and there’s someone there who does, just…don’t roll on it unless they say it’s okay. For example, I’m not a huge mount person so unless I’m told to roll, I usually won’t unless the people who REALLY want it already have theirs. I’d like to collect all the mounts on day because I like collecting but that’s it…with the exception of like…animal mounts. Those are on pet level of want.

Thankfully (and obviously), I did manage to win by over 50 points!:

But yes, finally, a Midnight Rakling is mine:

Which means I only have the M0-GUL Thrall Droid left for pets I KNOW how to get. Obviously, there is still the Wonderous/Wondrous Egg aka Orochick, but it has yet to be proven to come from Explosive Conflict so there really is no confirmation on how to get it–just that it’s in the game. Obviously, that doesn’t mean I’ll give up though…but it’s not like I can do EC anymore than we already are (though, if we start Hard Mode next week, maybe we can do it twice a week for both). Regardless, since the M0-GUL Thrall Droid is the pet I have been missing the longest (2 big patches now!), it really is my priority so if I had to pick a raid… I’d pick Karagga’s Palace/Hutt Hospitality. Not to mention, at least it’s confirmed from that while for all we know, Orochick may not come from Explosive Conflict at all and it may just be a red herring. And of course, while it’s likely the other 4 1.3 pets (2 more Akk Dogs and 2 more Lobels) are in, there still is no proof yet so… but I definitely would like to look into those too.

Anyway, I’m just super excited. So close to being done! And I never have to do Lost Island again! …except, you know, if someone really needs my help.

Feeling like a jerk

Jun22

So, currently really hating myself. Not that I ever hold myself high in regard to begin with, but I’ve even lower than usual ATM.

We were raiding tonight and I just screwed everything up. Besides some accidental aggroing, I also jokingly went REVENGE when I ended up winning the Eternity Vault HM Speeder (first time I’ve won an operation speeder…and a hard mode speeder in general)…and then just felt really bad. They’ve wanted it for a long time and I somehow wanted it and now I really hate myself and bleh.

About to try Gargath again, but I just feel really upset and like a total jerk.

edit: failure again.