So, today we were doing Explosive Conflict. We finished normal with ease and decided to try the first boss fight on HM. We got them to about 10% the final time (I think we did it 3-5 times before that). I died… a lot. Partially because I would get too far and then not be able to heal but being too close made me lose 25%-75$ if my health and bleh. I’m a shy person so I don’t really feel comfortable telling people to move…even if they have to. I did voice myself a little that last attempt, however, and that seemed to work.

I thought we did okay for our first tries on HM.

And I may have been the only one to feel that way.

Our guild leader whispered me saying how he was going to give me a million, but I’d have to spend it on something I wouldn’t like. I figured it was somewhat gear related (or forcing me to get my Twi’lek so I can make my Scoundrel to level up with my boyfriend so he could make his Vanguard), but if he made me get the mods I wanted, it’s not like I’d have minded. He made a small joke about the dancer outfit (he is constantly trying to bribe me to wear it or one of the slave outfits on raids. I repeatedly say no unless they want to give me like 15 million because I know they won’t do it and I’m not dressing like that.

Back to the subject, I was right about the gear part, but wrong about the specifics. He asked me to use it to get 4 Columni/Tionese pieces for the set bonus and to move my mods and whatnot to them for using to Raid. Now, I think I’ve mentioned how uncomfortable I am to switch things in parts–that also extends to switching things to temporary places. I feel incredibly uncomfortable switching my mods and stuff from gear I plan to keep to some other gear I was hoping I’d never see again with its giant shoulder pads, fan hat, and football player gloves.

I tried to explain that there was no point for me to have them. The Healing Trance thing didn’t help too much as I never had a point where I needed to use it and it had yet to finish cooling down. The 50 extra force is just barely 1 good heal–and with how long it takes to cast since the nerf (2.3 seconds is long when it gets down to the wire–and again, yes, the main healing class gets the slowest big heal), you will honestly just die anyway if it came down to that ever being useful.

I was then made further bad saying our other healer healed more even though there were plenty of times I was healing more and it just sucked.

So now I’m just upset. And I have this stupid million sitting in my inventory to do something I’m going to hate and feel incredibly uncomfortable with and twitchy for something that won’t make a difference at all other than being a waste of money.

may just go cry now or something. I already felt sad enough never being asked to group with people recently Yes, I hate PVP, but it’s still nice to be asked sometimes… Plus, I do have to do it occasionally-especially to get that stupid relic 🙁 and I know I’ll have to hit 2200 ranking for that speeder v-v Not to mention getting to Valor 100 for codexes…

*sighs* .__. I need a pick-me up. And no, a week to my birthday isn’t one.

Edit: After thinking of it more, I realized even more so this won’t make a difference. Ignoring how useless 50 is, the problem is my health gets too low (as I keep getting hit by Toth) to replenish it. Having 50 extra force won’t fix that. Only positioning will.