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Fun talk with a friend

Jul26

So, today, a friend of mine (and a guild leader of one of the top guilds on our server) came to talk to me about his recruiting issues. This lead to a large discussion about various things.

I enjoy talking to him as it can usually get most of my own worries with my own guild off my chest and also hear his own insights on it–kind of like why he asked me for some advice on his recruitment strategies as he seemed to be scaring people off.

We ended up talking a little about how his guild and the guild I am currently in were possibly going to merge in the past, especially as I mentioned how some of the new rules and ways people were doing things were kind of messed up and I knew he was a good guild leader and could set things straight. He said part of the issue is he didn’t want just anyone in the guild and our GM said no. I kind of understand both parts–He has enough to work with, but at the same time it’d be hurtful to people in our guild to be rejected with a “you’re not good enough”–especially as there’s always a chance they could improve.

So, out of curiousity, I asked him what players in our guild he thought were subpar–in his response, he mentioned two of our top tanks which I found surprising (though, that isn’t to say I haven’t seen any of their flaws–one has an issue with his positioning and the other doesn’t really like trying out other ideas too often). In my response, I half-jokingly said I was afraid to ask what he thought about me, only to hear the response that he thought I was good.

Coming from so many things this week where it’s obviously my fault and that I’m such a sucky healer, hearing something like that made me feel a bit better. I just wish I could’ve thanked him before he went to bed!

So, even though you don’t read this, sir, if you ever do stumble across it:

EC SM done

Jul24

So, due to the craziness mentioned below, we ended up doing SM while the other group did HM. I don’t really want to talk much about it. I feel like crud (physically) and just don’t want to think too much about stuff since I’m honestly still pretty upset. They did, however, apparently get the first two bosses down |Edit: they lied and apparently only got the first boss down| so I’m waiting for our other healer to shove it in my face or something because everything is my fault for being full of suck.

In the meantime, I helped my boyfriend set up his Mr. Robot page, though the wish list has barely been started/set up just yet. Shall try and look things up and hopefully we can get him more gear because feeling like it’s still both of our faults sucks. :/

Besides that, I did my first 7K heal today which was nice.

…unfortunately, the cheering up didn’t last long .-.

Resolved for Now

Jul24

So, for now, we will stay in guild and see what happens. We can’t be told about specifics of things (Like the conversation between Person A, B, and C) which doesn’t help considering it involves us.

Some things that were said were also kind of hurtful and confusing so I’m a bit lost? Regardless, while I do like most of the people in the guild, things will be uncomfortable for a while (if not permanently).

The compromise was I have to stay in this god-awful outfit, but as I earn Campaign (you better lose single person I’m rolling again *HOPES FOR ALL CONSULAR GEAR* there’s only a 25% chance though 🙁 ), I can fade it out. Also, I’m not allowed to complain whatsoever except to Ivan and my boyfriend and only in private whispers and not at all during raid. I really didn’t full on complain though–just offhand stuff. :/ And a bit brought up about me getting upset when I was replaced because I was late a few minutes and people knew I had to run to the store… and I got back before the person I was replaced with even arrived. It’s not like I openly yelled about it–I was a bit passive-aggressive at times, but I still answered any questions and was silent for the most part. And I suppose being a girl made being replaced by another female sage fairly awkward. (and of course, not being able to defend myself despite it being brought up isn’t fair either)

Overall, I guess I still feel singled out and bothered. Not to mention hated by at least one member of our raid team.

Gonna try and help my boyfriend with his gear though for now and just try and cheer up. but just…bleh.

On the bright side, it’s better than the last “resolution” with our first guild…or at least seemed that way.

To try and end this on a happy note, an updated WIP by the awesome Sakonma:

Conversing

Jul23

So, I ended up talking to several people for advice. In general, what it has come out to has been pretty much unanimously that it’s screwed up and unfair I was put into this position, that this member shouldn’t be allowed to act like that, and that if I’m going to be treated like that, I should quit/find a new guild.

There is nothing I can say. It doesn’t matter. I’d have to change the mind of a person who obviously wants nothing to do with me.

Unfortunately, if I did quit, I’d feel horrible. We’d probably stay guildless for a good while as well, if not permanently.

I’ll probably just wait until my boyfriend gets up though to talk more about it as it concerns him too. As it is, the clock is ticking down and they want my answer…unfortunately, I’m still not sure what it is.

Useless

Jul22

Absolutely nothing I said matters. They are refusing to understand my point. And despite it being just a member who has the issue, I’m the one made to suffer due to it.

I just…don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to look at my sage right now.

Feeling like a jerk

Jun22

So, currently really hating myself. Not that I ever hold myself high in regard to begin with, but I’ve even lower than usual ATM.

We were raiding tonight and I just screwed everything up. Besides some accidental aggroing, I also jokingly went REVENGE when I ended up winning the Eternity Vault HM Speeder (first time I’ve won an operation speeder…and a hard mode speeder in general)…and then just felt really bad. They’ve wanted it for a long time and I somehow wanted it and now I really hate myself and bleh.

About to try Gargath again, but I just feel really upset and like a total jerk.

edit: failure again.

Battle of Ilum, The Foundry, Population, Valor Worries + more

Jun19

So, quite a bit to talk about :3 Shall go in order~

Battle of Ilum:
Finally got to do Battle of Ilum HM! My boyfriend and I went with two of our guildmates 🙂 And we even did the bonus boss! It went really well and I had fun. We’re hopefully going to do False Emperor tomorrow and then I’ll have my Aratech Ice <3 What was really fun is we got to go through the Secret Tunnel 🙂 It is an old thing left during development/Beta when they wanted to put some Datacrons in Flash Points. It has a bunch of the crates you can break to get further along with the Bonus Boss and a Security Chest! It's in the giant crystal cave area :3 Just look for a tiny cove on the map with a few enemies and then look carefully for a tiny opening that turns into a path and it is so cool. The Foundry: Found some time to pop on Amidaia today and took care of the Foundry for the first time. We finally hit a flashpoint we couldn't do with just two companions, but luckily were able to find someone who was going to do it with us 🙂 I have taken Amidaia back to Quesh so hopefully maybe we can get some leveling in. Population: SO MANY PEOPLE. We had 300-400+ people on the Republic Fleet during Prime time and about 500 on the Imperial Fleet! PVPers were in their glory and everyone seemed to be getting along, though, I did see some rude people. I'm hoping to maybe see people looking for groups for Gargath as I'm pretty shy :/ I have seen lots of KP groups though so if our guild doesn't have time to during the week, at least I should be able to go to one! I just hope to see people asking for Gargath. However, due to experiences, I think I'm really too shy to join someone's Looking for group for Lost Island. It just is...a flash point that makes me really nervous and I know a lot of people really have no respect for mistakes and I'd rather not cry for feeling like a failure. Especially as I hate giving up. Wish I could find someone to do Lost Island normal already though. But yes, was nice seeing so many people--even if we were full at one point and had to wait like 20 minutes to get in 😛 Valor Worries: Guild said that due to other games, there was a chance with Ranked Warzones that Valor would be removed eventually. At the moment, I am valor level 73. I still have 27 levels to go to max out valor for all the titles. That's... a lot, especially at this high and the idea is just stressing me out completely. Moving on to other subjects: Our Guild has a new GM as the old one feels they will be too busy. I do know the new GM better than the old one so it's not too much of a change--most people are also in that boat. I actually got promoted to Officer though which was a nice surprise! Right now, they're trying to figure out recruiting along with what to do with Raid Groups. They are thinking of making our Raid Group the first one (we are #2) at the moment and vice versa--I kind of hope they do that as I really like the group I raid with. Besides that, I re-maxed Slicing 🙂 And am continuing to try and use that to earn some money. Hopefully I'll have a good amount of credits soon. Edit: And speaking of awesome guildmates, I received a special gift when I got up this morning: 10

Week Highlights

Jun10

Despite being away in Florida for work again, I did find some time to pop online while there and try out the game on my laptop. In general, it tends to work a lot better (definitely loads better and I’ve been getting new kinds of lag spikes on my computer which are incredibly annoying), but I definitely need to get used to the controls and bigger screen. As it is, it seems my interface is a bit glitchy on my computer lately as well which is all kinds of annoying.

Moving on, I got to raid with my guild a bit a few days ago. We did Normal EV to get rid of the daily, a complete HM Karagga (But still no Pet drop! At least I finally have all the HM codexes there) and then yesterday a complete run of Normal Explosive Conflict. We (as in the group I am in) may even do HM soon which I’m more than a little nervous about.

EC makes me very nervous. As it is, I almost screwed up the entire raid on the tanks due to:
1. Not realizing they wanted me on the inside of the lightning tank.
2. Not realizing I could run through the actual tank.

Once I realized though (and re-fixed my camera), we did it perfectly fine. But I’m still worried about positioning and stuff with the first boss when it comes to HM after what happened last time.

Also managed to go to Gargath with a random group which was nice… no pet there either but of course now he keeps dropping the Ice Scrabbler Schematic 😐 spite I tell you.

As for the PTS, I’ve done about 5 runs with Group Finder. Have gotten Hammer Station everytime though (using my lower level character as then it doesn’t matter if I get healing or DPS).

PVP also went okay today. Ups and downs but had a really good (and close match) earlier that ended with us winning while we had 2% left in Novare Coast. Was super suspenseful and action packed and just kind of awesome.

I just wish I could get the pets already. With 1.3 so close, I’m feeling more stressed out by the second. On the bright side, I officially have enough for one of the pets when 1.3 comes (and halfway to the other–will need to re-earn 2K normal Warzone commendations essentially). Now if I could just refer a friend who would actually get the game v-v And actually earn a good amount of credits. Out of stims and can’t afford to buy more. Most of my money is going to repairs (Though, usually I won’t have too much more than the Guild Funds I can use. I just sometimes forget to use the Guild Funds), stims, companion gifts, and random oter things. v-v

For now, back to the Test Server.

Various things

May18

With officially finishing The 30 Days of SWTOR meme, I figured I’d make sure to write about some other things.

We did Explosive Conflict today. Got to the final boss, but that was it. However, having beaten the final guy before, I just needed to defeat Mine-guy for the Aratech Fire and codex so yay. Still need to get Minesweeper though. Speaking of Minesweeper, I actually found a glitch with it so hopefully that gets all fixed soon. @-@

We’ll hopefully be doing KP tomorrow and maybe I shall get lucky. Of course, I never seem to get lucky with pet drops :/ Also finally finished my PVP Weekly and Daily so maybe I’ll never have to see them again.

Besides that, we finished Chapter 1 of our Imperial side. We’ll be doing the Nar Shaddaa Bonus Series and then Taris tomorrow (then probably Alderaan’s bonus series). “I’ll have more light than you ever have, and I love.” <-- my favorite imperial quote forever. Unfortunately, the screenshot bugged 🙁