Tag Archive | Personal

Rock Climbing in Denova and Pet Peeve

Jul2

So, I decided to fully explore Denova some more and at this point… I just think if it’s anything, it’s unfortunately a drop. I tried to take some screenshots, but for whatever reason, the button just wouldn’t screenshot anything. I’ve tried switching it to a different button before with no luck so it’s just some weird game issue.

Regardless, we climbed up lots of neat rocks, climbed on Kephess’ force field, and found out Denova is flat (it’s roundness is a lie). It was a lot of fun, at the very least. I do kind of wish the egg-nest-operation thing was true however, as not only would that be a lot of fun, it would’ve made my day to find and just have one pet left.

Continuing on, that brings me to a personal Pet Peeve of mine: Rumors.

If you don’t know something, just say so. Or if it’s a theory, MENTION THAT WITH WHAT YOU WRITE. It’s frustrating when people make things up as it gets people’s hopes up and can even become trolling. But what’s worse is when people just take it without any proof or details and things and put it up all over as if it’s true. Rumors are bad enough by themselves, but it’s even worse when people help spread them. Would just be nice if people would actually do the research once in a while.

Probably what I needed

Jun29

After my last entry, it was pretty interesting that I received a whisper about Lost Island shortly after. They asked if I was DPS in which I replied I wasn’t and could not really go DPS spec and wasn’t familiar with it. To my surprise, they responded saying they could switch to DPS if I wanted to heal and asked what my condition was (I had put Lost Island HM (1 Condition) as my LFG thing because if it happened again, I’d rather not think of what would happen if it did…and I do know some of my guildmates (heck, even my boyfriend) do really want it too and probably wouldn’t pass). They said it was no issue and thus, the group was made.

And we finished in roughly 20 minutes (a little less–probably would’ve been even lesser, but despite making it so we could skip the Rhino, they decided to do it for the heck of it). I died once (My fault–lagged when the guy was doing his smash. Apologized repeatedly.) and that was it–they even still beat the guy despite the fact I died. The tank died at the end once (I resurrected him very quickly though and kept everyone else up so we didn’t wipe. Not sure what made his health drop so fast), but in general, everyone lived and did fine. We had 2 Sages (myself and one DPS) and 2 Knights (Guardian Tank and Sentinel DPS–the Sentinel being who the person who whispered me switched to) and despite the extra Melee, that was probably the most painless Robot attempt I’ve done. Nobody died, everyone was usually at full health (few instances where I got out of range so some people’s health would drop a bit then), and it just went really well. I mean, people’s health bars were usually above 70-80% for the most part. Usually never less than 50% except on the rare occasion. Heck, I only had force problems once or twice too.

I don’t know what they did differently. It didn’t feel much different than other runs other than going a bazillion times faster and less death (which there were only 2 and neither caused a wipe). I’m not sure what gear they had either, but it was just…surprising and ridiculous and painless. And I even got a message from the Sentinel-healer-person that they would love to run it with me again (unfortunately, I couldn’t respond before they had to go, but I did send them mail!) and I probably needed that as it made me feel like maybe I’m not such a failure after all.

Now if the pet dropped too, I think that would’ve been a miracle. But despite the fact that it didn’t, I feel a lot more okay now.

In a slightly more down note, My computer probably desperately needs an update. Despite having turned everything down to the lowest settings (due to some lag issues), I was still lagging steadily throughout the robot boss and random parts after. Even running through the fleet, with everything as low as possible, I am having issues. Unfortunately, I can’t upgrade it yet (I can’t afford to)–but I really can’t always play on my laptop either 🙁 Just not sure what to do in the meantime.

Rants and Raves, I suppose

Jun24

So, I have a bit to talk about… I guess I’ll start with heading to the Tatooine event. I’m not really much of a PVPer, nor do I care to, so instead, I found somewhere to hide and spectated. Surprisingly, most people didn’t even notice me–I think I was only noticed once and the person kind of just looked at me and then left. Despite just spectating inside somewhere, there was still quite a bit to see. Do kind of wish I could have seen stuff outside as well, however.

No idea why my name was blue and whatnot–same thing happens when I queue for warzones. I’ve reported it and people can still hit me (if they try to) so it’s not like I’m immune–just a weird glitch.

After about an hour, I headed to the fleet for the raid. We finished Karagga Normal and then started HM…unfortunately, lots of issues with Bonethrasher. A few people just…weren’t listening. I also lagged once though and got smacked into the green stuff so bleh. :/ After him though, we did pretty well and got to the enemies before Fabricator. We stopped there as some people needed to sleep soon.

So, I went to check on Gargath and he wasn’t up, so I kind of just signed off shortly after and I don’t think anyone would have helped me with him anyway even if he was up. Not because they’re being rude, but because all week it’s just been so much Gargath that they’re sick of him. Just like KP. I can’t blame them–even I’m kind of sick of them (Though, I do find Fabricator and Karagga fun, but I hate everything before it at this point), but like when I grinded up PVP to 65, I’m determined.

I’m a shy person, I hate asking for help (Part of why I am so upset I can’t do these things alone) as it makes me feel bad, and I also hate giving up. On the flipside, if I get excited about something, I can be quite loud. I can also be abrasive, pushy, stubborn, and can some on a bit strong with my goals.

The thing is, and even when I’m saying what I still need, I’m not trying to ask for favors. I’m not trying to guilt people to help. I am honestly just stating them (thus why I made this to write in). As an example, 90% of my friends can draw really well. I can’t stand how I draw so I often complain about it. And then at least 80% of them ask if I want something drawn and it’s not even what I was trying to imply. I state a lot of things for myself and sometimes, maybe, I just want someone to listen for once.

I guess the best way to explain how I think of things is an old phrase: “It’s more fun planning the party than the actual party is.”

This doesn’t work for me. My favorite part is after the party when we clean up and prepare for whenever another party may happen so as soon as it does happen, everything is ready to go. So, in short, I like to have my lists done. Completely empty. Then work on saving credits and materials and etc. for the next patch so as soon as it comes up, I’m good to go. I have gear, I have credits, I have all the current pets, and I am completely ready to dedicate to this new update. In fact, My OCPD is why I have these blogs because despite the fact I have a very good memory, it helps relieve some stress for me to write it all down.

The thing is, if I still have stuff to do, I can’t do that. I can’t just focus on what is in the update because I still have things to catch up on. Thus, I stress and I practically have an anxiety attack. And the thing that people don’t seem to understand is for every second that I am feeling like I am behind, the more stressed I feel and the more I push. I will not ask for help or freebies–in fact, if you offer, my answer will always be something like “If you want to” or “If you feel like” or “If you’d like to” and similar. I will not ask because I will feel bad and guilty if I do even if you obviously have no issue doing so. If I do receive a sudden mail, expect a bazillion OMGTHANKYOU as I will feel forever in your debt.

I am someone who would put aside everything to finish things. I have everything at that high priority and put my passion into every single thing.

I’m not trying to be annoying. Or use anyone. Or bother people.

But I am trying to make sure I can maybe get myself some actual sleep. And maybe not want to curl into a ball and cry out of stress.

And if I could, I’d try and complete the goals all by myself.

but I can’t.

I can’t either 2.5 million (or 16 million) by Tuesday.

I can’t hit valor 100 by Tuesday. And I’m sure when I try to PVP to get the commendations I need for the other pet (as warzone commendations max at 2K and I need a total of 4K for both) once 1.3 hits, I’m also going to be reminded just how much I suck and what a burden I am to whatever team gets me.

I can’t do Lost Island HM by myself. I can’t do Karagga HM by msyelf. I can’t beat Gargath by myself.

I’m useless.

And I’m sorry if it seems I’m bugging or being a bit too abrasive. I don’t expect you to do things just for me. I don’t expect any of you to do things for me.

but I don’t know what to do anymore.

and honestly, the thing that makes me no longer want to play things most of all (even more than repeating) is feeling like I’ve gotten too far left behind.

and I don’t want that to happen to this game too.

The stress has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’ll log in again before 1.3 and if I do, maybe to just find a HM Karagga group that wouldn’t mind just doing Fabricator and Karagga.

but I just feel like I’m done. like there’s nothing else I can do. I feel empty and like a failure and just the biggest pile of useless crud out of all the level 50’s on the entire game.