Feeling like a failure

Jun3

Last night, I was invited to fill in for a healer during our guild’s Hard Mode run of Explosive Conflict as their healer wasn’t on. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I failed miserably. I can’t explain why because I don’t know. My heals were as good as their other healer, but it seemed like no matter what I did, it was for nothing.

I don’t know if it was me or maybe one of the other people they brought in, but in the end, when their other healer got on, I was replaced–which I would’ve been fine with if I wasn’t whispered saying how they wanted to replace me because they were sick of wiping…ignoring that most of those wipes weren’t my fault whatsoever. (And some of the few that were were due to new HM mechanics during the fight that they didn’t go over).

Regardless, I suppose I’m second-guessing my healing again. And once again, feeling more than a bit useless with some of the 1.2 changes.

I was dragged on some PVP stuff which went okay–though, I felt like an idiot when I realized I forgot to put my PVP stuff back on… not to mention there’s a lot of cheaters lately which is kind of depressing.

Blah, I just wish I was better 🙁

OROSQUAB GET

Jun1

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees *parties*

Caught one on the market for 249K. Fairly good deal. Bought immediately. Just Midnight Rakling, M0-GUL Thrall Droid, and Taunling to go! …and of course, the Wondrous Egg too, but still looking for information on that 🙁

And C2-N2 is at 10K affection now! Yay! Now to just concentrate on my Sorcerer. I don’t really care too much about getting her robot up right away (though, I’ll probably do her robot next out of anyone’s once I get everyone’s companions up), but yay for finishing on Marilea!

Random Chat

Jun1

First of all, there is going to be a SWTOR Encylopedia which I am looking forward to as I’d love to see more about the story. It’s too bad it won’t be out until much later in the year.

Besides that, 1.3 will be up on the test server too and you can sign up to have your character copied over to help test it out. I ended up signing up as I’d love to check things out.

Now, onto actual ingame things:
–Amidaia is currently level 41. We have just a little left on Quesh and then will either be heading to Hoth or Alderaan (the bonus series there). We also finally caught up on flash points and will possibly do The Foundry before heading back over to Quesh.
–Operation progress continues on Marilea. We did a more or less perfect run through of Explosive Conflict on Tuesday so we did Eternity Vault and Karagga’s Palace Hard Mode today. We did get through EV, but ended up getting stuck at Karagga for KP due to a few odd happenings. We’ll hopefully try again sometime before Tuesday.
–Amidaia’s Cybertech is over 300 so 2/3 speeders have been made so far. Yay.
–I’m still super poor. Not really getting any closer to saving up for anything.
–Still no luck on drop pets either or news on Wondrous Egg 🙁

But yes, it’s nice to at least be getting some stuff done. Now if I just had 7.5-10.5+ million credits and the last several pets I need, maybe I’d stop stressing so much.

Denova :3

May22

So, there was a raid tonight. We, unfortunately, won’t be able to go on Thursday to finish because we have to go upstate for a friend, but we had a lot of fun!

I think this is the fastest we’ve done the Mine Boss and I even got Minesweeper! Yay! So excited 😀 We’re going to do the Black Hole Heroic now too. But yeah, getting the Minesweeper title on Marilea totally lifted my spirits. Also got to heal all the pulls after the Mine Boss by myself (our other healer had to go) so we could get the chest which was pretty fun too and helped me feel a bit better about healing.

Lost Island, Feeling Down, etc.

May22

So, I recently started playing an MMO I used to play a couple of years ago (I wasn’t able to play too much until recently as my old Laptop failed miserably and my computer seemed to hate the game for some reason). I’m still playing SWTOR, but how much I suck at earning credits is really getting to me. If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a very focused and orderly person–so doing things like playing another character before I have the priority Legacy Stuff (all the Ship Unlocks) is driving me crazy on the inside–as is still needing 5 pets (M0-GUL Thrall Droid, Taunling, Midnight Rakling, Orosquab, and Orochick (Though, this last one is still being figured out how to get…) and it’s just getting to me beyond words and I really don’t know what I can do. Dailies just kill the game for me. And most people don’t really understand that, but I have -so much trouble- with those kinds of things. This is the first time I have ever made an alt in a game. Most likely as the Imperial storyline was different enough, but when it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do much other than want to just rush through the stories unless something is different enough.

I have beaten a lot of games. However, I have never started over my progress and played through it again. At all. If my game got erased? I made someone else play it and told them exactly what to do. If I couldn’t find someone to do that, I never played again. The only exception was Sonic Adventure which was essentially insane and it was only because my Dreamcast would kill the data everytime I got to 60% (It wasn’t until the Gamecube version came out that I was finally able to finish it).

But yes, in short, I’m just out of ideas. I can’t play the market (I’d end up losing money, not making any, and I’d feel guilty anyway), Crafting is just…not something I understand when it comes to making a profit, Dailies essentially ruin the game for me (it doesn’t matter if I run them with friends), and I just don’t know. It doesn’t help that everyone is so busy doing stuff with their guilds and/or doing the new flash point and operation and so nobody wants to go fight Gargath, most people have their Lost Island Groups, and Operations still have lock outs.

And of course, there are some exceptions when there ARE people looking for a healer for Lost Island. Unfortunately, in that circumstance, I’m terrified. Ignoring that Rakghouls make me nervous and that Flashpoint is creepy, it’s just healer heavy and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten the changes down enough in 1.2. I’ve done it successfully 2 or 3 times now. Failed once on Hard (Couldn’t figure out a good strategy for the robot boss at the time) and once on Normal (Tank and Melee DPS would not listen. At all. Also had more health than the Tank and Melee DPS which is never a good sign). There’s just many times since 1.2 where I will actually have all my heals cooling down. All of them. And the robot and first part of the final boss have so much moving around…I mean, when you need to stand still for nearly all your heals (all but one), that is horrible.

This flashpoint also showed me just how bad the nerfs could be. What I find hilarious is they were supposed to be PVP nerfs and I honestly don’t feel nerfed at all in PVP. And I don’t even like PVP. I wish they could’ve made it so it applies to PVP only. They made it so you can’t summon certain things in PVP, would it be that hard to make it so certain nerfs happened only in PVP?

But for the main healing class to essentially need the longest time to cast their big heal? I never realized just how bad that extra second for 2.5 (though, mine is 2.3 on my main character due to Alacrity) was. There are many times where I just barely get it out and I feel horrible. And of course, there are times where I do well and I heal through a missed incinerate or get everyone quickly topped back up, but I’m just terrified. I don’t want people yelling at me for something I can not control.

And don’t even get me started on Noble Sacrifice. In a fight where you are moving around a lot of NEED to stay away from everyone else, you can not be in your AoE heal. And with the healing changes, you can not afford to be healing yourself. If you are the lone healer and have to move a lot or be far away, it can be very hard to keep your force up while making sure you won’t die instantly if an extra enemy or some surrounding traps suddenly smack you in the face.

Once I do get the Mysterious Egg and Midnight Rakling from the flashpoint, I wouldn’t mind never doing it again. Ever.

but yes, back to why this was originally made before I went into a tangent about fears and things… I suck at earning credits and I guess I just wanted to play something (even though I still suck at putting) else for a bit of a break…which really isn’t a break because I’ll be playing SWTOR later anyway once my boyfriend is up *really not feeling well and thus, woke up early*.

…I just need some cheering up 🙁

The thing that sucks most about not having many credits…

May21

…is when you see something you have been watching for FOREVER and can’t afford it. 🙁 it’s so depressing.

Currently, there is something on the market that I’d like to get, but it costs 1,000,000 credits. T__T

Between Amidaia and Marilea, I have about 700K, but even if I could afford the million, I couldn’t really blow all my money on that as I still need money for Skill training for Amidaia and repairs for both and other things. Not to mention getting stims for raids and stuff as that is sort of required @-@ (and some crafting too!)

Not to mention, most of the extras are still going through things from the Legacy system–like all the ship stuff. I already decided I essentially want to go in this order:
1. Repair Droid – 1 million
2. GTN – 5 million*
3. Mailbox – 500K*
4. Both Dummies – 1 million (If I get one first, PVE)

*They can be switched–I’d probably prefer to get them at the same time.

After ship stuff…probably either the two races I want (1.5 million each–one for Miisha and one for Zoara, so 3 million total) or Rocket Boots (2 million). Part of me, while I don’t expect to use the alts right away, is leaning towards the races first as I’m sick of having holder spots for the names until I can afford to make them. And I don’t see myself using/doing well with the Rocket Boots anyway.

After races and rocket boots, probably cool downs…and then I will be saving as best as I can for when 1.3 comes.

But pets are my priority, so I kind of feel tempted (even though it’s overpriced)? Ugh, I just wish I wasn’t so bad at earning credits. Knowing there’s people on our server with 20-60 million credits just leaves me completely floored. I seem to be the only one who has this problem though.

I know the main way people earn credits are either:
1. Crafting (I’m just not very good at it. I’m not really used to crafting things to be honest–I make what I like…and then I have stuff…and yeah. I’m just not great at grinding up to better stuff or things like that. Especially as it’s rare I can make anything I’d want anyway…and don’t get me started on how bad I am at pricing)
2. Playing the Market. I suck at this so much though. I’m not good at pricing to begin with so I really can’t tell what would be good and what wouldn’t. I’d also feel bad so.
3. Dailies. I don’t think people understand how much I hate dailies–often people think I’m just being lazy, but dailies actually ruin the game for me. Like the more I do them, the less I even want to play. I just can’t stand dailies at all. Credits aren’t really enough incentive for me to stand them and since speeders and gear aren’t too priority either… Like it would need a pet or something limited (why I was able to grind the Rakghoul event) to not completely ruin the game for me. This is also why I have such a hard time with alts–while the Imperial storyline is different enough that I don’t feel like I’m doing the same thing, there are plenty of times when it gets close that it’s a struggle to pay attention/stay interested–especially after finishing the story stuff for the area.

so I’m essentially screwed.

Wardrobe Thoughts

May20

I’ve been thinking very hard about what I’d want each of my characters to wear. While Marilea is all set in her Elegant Dress set and her Elder Seeker’s Headgear (though, I may want to find a hat that is more circlet-y/tiara-ish) along with her Righteous Harbinger’s Lightsaber, I’m still having an awful time finding Amidaia a nice shirt. She is pretty much fine with everything else though (however, I should probably try and learn to make the skirt so I can get an augment slot for it…at least those kits will be out in 1.3).

I have been checking on the awesomely helpful TOR Fashion site to try and get an idea for what I’d want to do for Miisha, my future smuggler, but it doesn’t seem there is too much up yet for Medium Armor. I did, however, find what I will probably want my future Trooper, who I finally have decided to name Zoara, to wear. I haven’t seen exactly what I want for my Imperial Agent (Cellina) or Bounty Hunter (Aurorra) yet, but I shall have to just keep checking back.

Various things

May18

With officially finishing The 30 Days of SWTOR meme, I figured I’d make sure to write about some other things.

We did Explosive Conflict today. Got to the final boss, but that was it. However, having beaten the final guy before, I just needed to defeat Mine-guy for the Aratech Fire and codex so yay. Still need to get Minesweeper though. Speaking of Minesweeper, I actually found a glitch with it so hopefully that gets all fixed soon. @-@

We’ll hopefully be doing KP tomorrow and maybe I shall get lucky. Of course, I never seem to get lucky with pet drops :/ Also finally finished my PVP Weekly and Daily so maybe I’ll never have to see them again.

Besides that, we finished Chapter 1 of our Imperial side. We’ll be doing the Nar Shaddaa Bonus Series and then Taris tomorrow (then probably Alderaan’s bonus series). “I’ll have more light than you ever have, and I love.” <-- my favorite imperial quote forever. Unfortunately, the screenshot bugged 🙁

Feeling Wanted + Updates

May11

It’s been a lot of fun with our new guild. Mar-gon got to completely do Explosive Conflict this week and I got to help with the final boss last night. I got my Rakata hat and he received his Rakata mainhand.

I also have been brought along on a few Hard Modes to try and get my vehicle achievements done. Coming from where it had always been the same group or very self-focused, it’s nice to see this and be offered slots in PVP queues and asked if I want to fill in and it’s just so different. They also don’t mind trying to call someone else in for a raid that isn’t in the guild. They prefer it over canceling because it’s not fair to the others. And all the gear is shared and they don’t care who needs it as long as they can use it and it’s just so nice.

We even got to do Karagga’s Palace (still no pet though 🙁 ) and Esseles HM today!

It makes me all excited~ And we’re even making a guild on the Imperial side now too 😀

Also, we now have a screenshot showing on the sidebar 🙂 It will eventually be the most recent screencap I took and you can click the name to see all screencaps on a Tumblr blog. Will also help make sure images show up over here too eventually <3